“We must wait until after the wedding,” Kunwar-sa suggested.“Because then, and only then, can we use Meharangarh’s army.”
I felt uncertain, but I sensed they were discussing the same kingdom where he had secured his alliance.
I finished serving and filled their empty glasses with water when Kunwar-sa said,“Let’s eat, Bhai-sa.”
Ranaji nodded and looked at me, asking,“Suman, has Rani-sa eaten lunch yet?”
My heart raced slightly, and I tried to respond steadily.
“Not yet, Ranaji. She just had a plate of raw mangoes. We’ll serve her later.”
He turned to Kunwar-sa.“Did you bring her raw mangoes?”
He chuckled, admitting,“I wouldn’t have gone otherwise.”
Ranaji cautioned,“Limit the mangoes; otherwise, she’ll complain about pimples.”
I smiled and nodded.“Yes, Ranaji.”
They asked me to leave. I returned to the queen’s chamber.
The day unfolded routinely. I cared for her, helped her bathe in the evening, and gave her a foot massage before she went to bed.
?????
I felt a profound sense of peace and fulfilment; I wanted nothing more.
The love I received from Nandani and the trust and importance everyone placed in me were enough for me to dedicate my entire life to this kingdom: Suryagarh.
After that incident, life gradually returned to normal, and I resumed my daily chores. The days passed, and thankfully, I did not see Kunwar-sa again. I didn’t know where he was. Nandani hadn’t given me tasks like delivering his lunch or supervising the attendants as they cleaned his room. Perhaps he had gone somewhere.
He had been attending meetings and negotiations since Nandani got pregnant. Meanwhile, Prince Ranvijay, Kunwar Agastya’s older brother and Ranaji’s younger brother, was in the kingdom overseeing construction on the outskirts, which was at its peak.
Kunwar-sa would leave the palace without saying a word and disappear for months.
The previous three years had transformed the kingdom. And he had noticeably changed after returning from a wedding three years ago. He might have matured, but the responsibilities had likely affected him.
What am I thinking? And why do I care?
I took a deep breath, gathered my thoughts, and returned to work.
I had spent all my time caring for Nandani. It had been two weeks since I had last seen him in Nandani’s chamber. My life was getting back on track, but my thoughts weren’t settling. I had been having terrifying nightmares since that day. Some nights, I would wake up drenched in sweat. Just moments away from consuming me and freeing my soul, the flames haunted me deeply.
The only thing that brought me comfort during those nightmares was the memory of his hand resting on my head. I shifted to my right side beneath the comforter in my room. It was past midnight, and everyone else had already fallen asleep.
After that day, I developed the habit of leaving my room lamp lit. A few fellow attendants asked me about it, but I could only say that it helped me stay alert in case Nandani needed me in the middle of the night.
With my eyes closed, I tried to drift off to sleep and push away the thoughts of that day, but it felt impossible. I pulled the comforter over my head, hoping it would protect me. However, as soon as the comforter trapped me in its heat, flashbacks of the blazing pyre flooded my mind.
I felt my heart slow, my cries grew louder, and people watched me with my hands bound to the wood. I couldn’t help but push the comforter away and sit up. It was getting worse.
I immediately looked at my wrists. The marks from the rope had faded, yet they had left me with a lasting fear for the rest of my life.
I pressed my palms against my face and tried to remind myself,‘This is Suryagarh. You are safe here. No one is going to burn you alive. You are safe, Suman.’
I inhaled deeply and glanced at the metal jug beside my mattress. Leaning forward, I picked it up, but let out a frustrated sigh when I found it empty.
I stood up and walked out of my room to the kitchen. It was midnight, and I couldn’t understand why the morning light felt scarier than the night’s darkness.
