“I have something to tell you,” I managed to say, but my voice came out slow.
The heat Kunwar-sa had left me with still warmed my head, and I felt a slight soreness between my legs, making me shift on the couch.
“Yes?” he prompted, his voice slow as well.
I clenched my hands to gather my strength and intoned,“I can’t marry you.”
There was a long, awkward pause until he asked, his tone upset,“Oh, why? If you’re comfortable answering.”
I blinked nervously.“I’m already tied to someone,” I said, trying to keep my gaze steady.
He frowned in confusion.
“Married?” he asked.
I swallowed hard and shook my head.“Not exactly,”
“Will you keep this between us and deny the marriage?” I added, my voice trembling and struggling to find the right words.“I cannot, because I respect Daadi-sa a lot, and I can’t tell anyone about it.”
He nodded.“I will,”
I inhaled deeply.“When my first husband died, his family tried to force me to burn myself along with his body as part of a ritual in our tribe. But a man saved my life; to do so, he had to put vermilion in my hair. I mean, we aren’t properly married, but I’m tied to him in a way that I wouldn’t be able to find peace in my heart if I even think about anyone else.” I explained slowly, and he remained silent for a moment.
My heart raced when he said,“But I wouldn’t have a problem with it.”
I gulped nervously and shook my head.
He didn’t have a problem with it, but I knew Kunwar-sa would, and I too did. I couldn’t fool him when I was falling for Kunwar Agastya.
“You don’t understand,” I managed to say.“I can’t marry anyone.”
He inhaled deeply, remaining silent for a moment.
“Okay, I’ll tell Rajmata,” he said.
I immediately stood up and said,“But please don’t tell her what I shared. It would devastate.”
He nodded weakly and walked out of the room.
I stayed there until I saw Daadi-sa walk in, looking sad.
I waited quietly, and she hugged me tightly.
“It's okay, but we’ll find another man, one even better than him, for you. He was an idiot,” she said, and I tried to look upset.
She released me from the hug and cupped my cheeks.“You must be tired. You should rest, and I think you’re getting rashes too,” she said, and my cheeks warmed up.
I cupped my neck and shook my head, which made her furrow her brows in confusion.
“Are you okay, Suman?”
I nodded silently and said,“Um… Daadi-sa, Nandani must be looking for me.”
Then I walked away from there, darting out of there.
I went to the kitchen and got to work. I didn’t meet anyone after that because of the red bruise on my neck. I didn’t care about the guests, but I couldn’t let Nandani, Princess Aishwarya, or even Ranaji see it.
After everything, I returned to my room, exhausted.
