Chapter Twenty-Four
One evening, Tonyand Lucinda walked through the gardens out back. It wasn’t as large as Warrington House’s garden at a quarter of the size, but it had a few mature trees and a small home garden for herbs and vegetables.
“How was Grandfather when you went to see him?” Lucinda asked.
“He was concerned for your safety of course but happy to know you were safe here. He will be leaving London at the end of the week but begs that you continue to write to him.”
“Of course. He is full of memories of my mother, and I feel like I know her much better now, thanks to him. And, thanks to you for going to him and bringing him and me together.”
“You have to know I did it for you and you alone.”
“I do. You brought me my parents as well, though shamefully I did not react the way you expected. I do want you to know I am grateful for all you have done for me.”
“It was my duty, but it soon became more than that.” He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “I wanted to see you happy. I wanted you to get what you desired and had always missed out on.”
“It was not until I came here that I realized exactly how much had been taken away from me. How different my life could have been. Then again, I may never have met you and your wonderful family.” She turned towards him and rose up on her toes to place a kiss on his mouth.
Tony put his hands on her shoulders to keep a distance between them. “Perhaps we should keep our affections out of sight.”
“Why? Do you think your mother and sister do not see how I look at you? The way you look at me. They know, believe me.” She laughed. “Look to the windows on the second floor.”
He did and was shocked to see his mother’s and sister’s faces in the window. Then they waved at him, and he could not help but laugh and shake his head. “I should not be so surprised. My sister has always been on the ball when it comes to matters of the heart. She predicted both my older brothers’ wives.”
“She is very wise indeed. Will you please kiss me now?”
“With pleasure.” He dipped his head and with his hands pulled her against him, pressing his lips to hers in soft open-mouthed kisses that sent shivers through her limbs making her melt into him. She was conscious of their audience and tried to stop the kiss, even though it was the last thing she wanted to do. “Your mother,” she reminded him, and he nodded and stepped back.
“Shall we recommence our stroll around this rather boring garden?”
“That would be lovely, although I think Sasha is having a wonderful time. Dogs find such joy in the simplest things.” They walked and watched as Marianne’s dog chased various bugs and pounced on a lizard, who was sunning itself on a leaf.
“Indeed. What brings you joy, Lucinda?”
She looked at him, her face serious. “You. I know you do not want to hear it, but it is true. I love your family, not just for what they have done for me but because they did it out of the goodness of their hearts. And because you are part of this family, I love you too.”
Platonic love? Is that how she felt about him? Like love for a sister or a brother?No, you do not kiss your brother like she kissed him.“So, you are saying you love me?”
Lucinda cupped his face. “Yes. I love you. I have for a while and even though I know you will not marry me I cannot stop what I feel for you.”
His heart was breaking in two. He loved her with everything he was, but was it folly for him to fight it? He loved being a spy. It was what he did. Who would he be without his position with Stafford and The Ring, the group of spies he worked with?
If he left and married Lucinda, he would no doubt be happy at first, but then as time went on, he knew he would become bored. He would need to find a new vocation. What if he weren’t any good at anything else?
“Lucinda.” Taking her back in his arms. “I want you to know I do love you.”
“Just not in the same way I love you?” Tears shimmered in her eyes.
“My heart is yours,” he said, his tone apologetic. “I need time to make sure I can provide for you. That I can give you the life you want.”
“I understand. My dowry and inheritance cannot keep us forever.”
“It is not just that. Before I worked for Stafford, I was lost. I knew nothing but how to be a soldier. He gave me back my life after my brother took my livelihood away from me.”
“Edward did that?”
“It was with good intentions, although I did not think so at the time. I had been sent home to convalesce after taking a bullet in the side. I had developed a fever, and they feared I would not recover. I suspect my mother also had something to do with his decision to cash in my commission, so I cannot blame him entirely.”
He picked up a stick and threw it for Sasha to chase. “I made a full recovery and was eager to rejoin my regiment only to find that I was no longer a soldier. I no longer had anything. I began to drink and gamble and generally tried to embarrass my brother by causing scandal. He had only been the duke for less than a year.”
