“Like hell I will.”
His own anger shot her gaze back to his eyes. “Do you remember our first meeting at the abbey, Rose? You asked me after I had been standing outside during a lightning storm—aye, you guessed correctly about that—you asked if I feared death. Or defied it. At the time I could honestly tell you, I feared nothing.
“You told me lightning is the most powerful force on earth. ‘It intrigues, tempts, and taunts you. You cannot master it but it makes you feel something powerful. Only a man who cannot feel life seeks to find ways to destroy his own, if only to define his own existence,’ you said. Do you remember those words?”
She did remember and he had repeated them verbatim.
“You told me I am a man without purpose. I am not that man any longer.”
So conscious of his gaze, her mind lagged in catching up to his words.
“Aye, you are a bonny bride worth much. Tucker told me that from the beginning you were an heiress. But in Jedburgh, I was willing to let you go if I could find a way to get you out of England, because that is whatyouwanted.
“Since the first day I met you, I have wanted you, love. Do you truly believe Hereford could haveforcedme to wed you?”
She looked up at him through a hot veil of tears. His words, everything he was saying left her momentarily bereft of thought.
“Ah, love. I have injured you,” he said, and gathered her in his arms. “I have apologized.”
She nodded. He did not need to apologize. “I know.”
He let her pull away from him.
“Now tell me about your school, love.”
He produced a towel that had been lying beside the washbasin for her nose. Welcoming the change of topic, she told him of the school and the plans she had for the tenants’ children and how she hoped the lodge was close enough to the village to draw children from there. She blew her nose and ceased sniffling. “I have written to Friar Tucker and asked if he would talk to the older girls to see if one or two might be interested in teaching positions. I told our kirk pastor that I would go over the applicants with him this morning.” She peered up at him. “You do not object?”
“Nay, love.”
She dabbed at her eyes and regarded him suspiciously. “You are being very humble and cooperative.”
“I am trying.” And the words went straight to the warm pit of her stomach.
His dark hair was still wet from a recent bath and tied back at his nape, emphasizing the handsome sun-touched features.
Dressed as he was in leather breeches and a simple white cambric shirt open at his throat, he looked neither aristocratic nor Scots today. He looked like he belonged on the sea. She slid her finger over the shell of his ear. “Where is your earring?”
He wrapped his fingers around hers. Turning her palm upward, he pressed a kiss into her hand. “I removed it, Rose.”
“Why would you do such a thing?”
“If you do not know, then it matters little why the thing is gone.”
Before she could respond, a knock sounded on the door in the bedchamber. “That is Anaya,” he said. “I took the liberty of sending for her before I came up here.”
Gowns and petticoats, shoes, hats, and sundry feminine articles lay on the settee, floor, and her dressing table. She had not finished looking at the beautiful things the modiste had brought her and not everything had been put away. A glance around at the abundance brought sudden amusement to his eyes. “I will have to compliment the modiste. Shall I send up another maid?”
She never knew quite what to say when he teased her. It made her feel young because she did not always understand his mood. “I should not have ordered so many gowns.”
“You are not that extravagant. I can afford to purchase you gowns.”
Another timid knock sounded. Ruark strode out of the dressing to open the bedroom door and allow Anaya into the room.
“Ruark ...” Rose hurried to stand in front of him before he could turn the key in the door. She grabbed his sleeve. “Wait!”
Despite his current cavalier demeanor, she felt the firmly muscled flesh beneath the sleeve hard with tension. She wanted to ask him what he meant about the earring and to understand him, but she suddenly found she wanted him to kiss her more than she wanted anything else at all at the moment. But he did not kiss her, and Rose withdrew her hand from his arm.
“Perhaps I can prevail upon you to join us in church,” she said. “We will be picking peaches afterward.”
