Rose decided to take Angus’s advice to heart and not involve herself in Kerr family matters. Now that Jamie had confirmed himself to be a man to everyone’s satisfaction, she hoped she would be allowed to examine him.
Rose sloshed water from the ewer into a bowl and rinsed the rag. Jamie sat in his bed, his legs drawn up to his chest, his chin on his knees. He had been stubbornly quiet all day, not making a fuss, never complaining. Shehad come here to give him her aide, but she knew ’twas more personal.
Mary had given her permission to enter the room and see him. Something was going on outside between Ruark and Duncan, and had taken much of the staff’s attention, leaving the few who remained busy running off in every direction to get food, water, clothes, and medicines. Mary had sent Julia out of the room while Jason finished helping Jamie wash his hair and check for lice, but as Rose looked at the wounds and injuries, she knew Julia had been sent out for a reason.
He wore a long white nightshirt unlaced over his chest and rolled up to his elbows, revealing scrapes and cuts on his arm, a head injury that should have had sutures. His shoulders bore signs of a whip.
At that moment, she had never hated anyone more than her father.
She needed medicine or a tonic to soothe Jamie’s stomach. He had a fever and had vomited again. Her heart ached for him. Her soul cried.
A sniffle sounded. She pushed back a strand of blond hair. He had eyes the color of Ruark’s, the same shape nose. Ruark must have looked very much like his brother at twelve. Was he ever as vulnerable? He held a gold doubloon in his hand that he had picked out of a drawer filled with seashells and other treasures young boys collected.
“You are very brave, Jamie.”
He lowered is chin. “Nay, I was no’.” He swiped at his cheeks with the heel of his hand. “If Da ever caught me crying, he would have taken a strap to my backside and give me a reason to cry. I did no’ weep once while ... while I was away ... even though I was scairt of the dark. Rufus and Gavin ... they didn’t seem scairt.”
“Believe me, they were.”
His voice barely audible, he asked, “You are his bride?”
She looked away to wring out the rag. Water dribbled into the bowl. “Aye.”
“They said he married ye to save me.”
“I suppose he did,” she said quietly to the saucer-eyed boy, who seemed to have inquired more out of compassion, not judgment. Perhaps his feelings weren’t for her, but they did hold for his brother.
“You’re no’ like him ... your da.” He blinked wet eyes at her. “People were afraid of my da, too. Duncan says Lord Hereford killed him.”
Telling the boy that she was sorry seemed inadequate. “I know.”
He studied the scraped fingers that held the doubloon. “Da made Ruark go away before I was born,” he said after a moment. “I did no’ even know I had a brother until I was nine. When I was older I heard Da shout at Mam that it was her fault, he made Duncan take Ruark away.”
“You must have communicated somehow. That is a gold doubloon in your hand. That must have come from him.”
“Mary gave it to me. She has family in the village and Ruark would send letters to her with gifts inside, and she would send my letters to him. I liked having a brother everyone called theBlack Dragon.”
The creak of a floorboard turned her attention to the door. Ruark was standing in the doorway, Julia behind him. She carefully folded the rag and draped it over the bowl. Then stood as he approached his brother and as Julia swept past.
He was a master at hiding his emotions, but for one instant she glimpsed the bleakness in his eyes as he looked down at his brother.
Rose walked out of the room. Mary stood in the corridor. “Look at ye, lass. Your dress is damp and ye look in need of supper yourself.”
She had been barely conscious of her damp gown for the last hour, but as she looked down at her skirts, she saw that grass stains and dirt from the ride also marred the beautiful fabric.
But she didn’t care as her feet carried her down the corridor. She heard someone call her name but her flight had already taken her down the stairs and into the entry hall. Her heart began to thump faster as she swept past a dozen servants and hurried toward the kitchen, nearly toppling the cook in her haste to throw open the door and walk out into the night. But she wasn’t walking, she was running, scattering dogs and geese that slept outside the scullery. She had wanted to go to the surgery, then realized she did not know where it was, and McBain wasn’t here to show her.
She heard the sound behind her a moment before a hand came down on her shoulder and spun her around. Startled, she stumbled and tripped over her skirts. Ruark stood before her, the concern visible on his face in the pale, misty moonlight, silencing her struggles.
“I ... have to do something for him, Ruark. I cannot just dismiss the fact—”
“That your father is responsible?” he quietly asked.
“Aye, he is responsible,” she whispered with passion. “He is responsible for that boy’s ... care, for your father’s death ...”
“So you think you can fix everything he broke and make the world a better place for us all,” he said dispassionately.
She shook her head, spilling her hair over her shoulders.She didn’t know how she could begin such a task; she didn’t know where to begin.
