She nods immediately, already sliding her hand into mine. “Yeah. I’m tired too.”
We say our goodnights—Emma barely looking away from the laptop screens, Adela lifting her wine glass in a lazy salute, and then Heather and I head upstairs to the bedroom. The moment we step inside, she kicks off her socks and climbs straight into bed, pulling the blanket up around herself with a soft sigh.
She watches me as I flick off the light, pull my shirt over my head, and toss it aside. “How are you feeling?” she asks gently. “On the Suboxone?”
I roll my eyes, smirking as I crawl into bed beside her. “You mean, how’s your patient doing, Nurse Hardin?”
She nudges me with her knee. “I’m serious, Meekah.”
My heart warms at her ridiculous nickname for me. “I know.” I settle onto the pillow, turning toward her. “I feel good. Really good, actually. Better than I have in a long time.” I pause, then add more quietly, “It’s the first thing that’s made me feel like maybe I’ve actually got a shot at staying clean. Getting off needles is...rare. But this medication gives me hope for myself. And Jude.”
Her expression softens, that beautiful little smile that I want to worship forever. She reaches over, brushing her fingers along my jaw. “I’m really proud of you.”
“Thanks.”
We lie there for a minute, just looking at each other, the house quiet around us.
She hesitates, chewing lightly on her lip. “I’m still nervous about Rafe’s plan. At the ball.”
“Yeah,” I admit. “Me too.” I let out a slow breath. “But if anyone knows what they’re doing, it’s him.”
She nods, though I can tell the nerves are still there. "I'm really grateful that I met you."
I swallow past the sudden lump in my throat, a warmth spreading through my chest. One that has all sorts of emotions running wild inside me. “I love you, Heather.” The words leave my mouth before I can overanalyze them.
She freezes. And immediately, my stomach drops a little as I realize what I just said. The first time, no takebacks, no joking tone to soften it. I open my mouth, half ready to stumble through some awkward follow-up, but before I can, she reaches up and cups my face in both hands.
“I love you too, Micah,” she says softly. “I think I have for a while.”
Relief hits me so fast I almost laugh. “Yeah? Good. Because…yeah. Same. I know this isn’t exactly the most romantic timing.But I've never felt like this about anyone. You're an incredible woman.”
She shakes her head, smiling. “No. It’s perfect. I promise.”
I can’t help it, my hand slides to the back of her neck, fingers tangling gently in her hair as I pull her closer and kiss her. She lets out a soft moan against my mouth, and heat rushes through me. The kiss deepens slowly, and within moments, our clothes are shed. And when I’m inside her, there’s nothing else that makes me feel safer. Cared for. I finally know what Jude always told me about when you have sex and love together...it’s an otherworldly experience. I’ve never known that, since I’ve never loved anyone before.
But here I am, loving this girl with everything I’ve got. The harder she kisses me, the more my thoughts melt away, just for now. I’m scared, but she’s swallowing my fears with every stroke of her tongue. Her fingers tangle in my hair when I thrust harder, deeper. But not faster. And when she breaks for me, moaning my name, I lose everything in her.
I kiss her as my release barrels into me. And for the first time in days, my mind finally goes quiet. I love her. And she loves me.
Chapter thirty
JUDE GRAVES
The mask grins up at me from my hands, my thumb dragging slowly over the fucked up smile. I can still feel the restraints on my wrists even though they took them off an hour ago.
Today was bad.
Not theusualbad. Not the routine pain, the conditioning, the “lesson.” It was longer and...meaner. Like Alexei woke up and decided another piece of me needed to be cut away. I swallow, but my throat still tastes like blood.
I know I’m losing it. I can feel it happening in real time—thoughts slipping, memories blurring, that rage I’ve tried for so fucking long to tame now catching fire again. Sometimes I noticemyself staring at nothing for whole minutes. Sometimes I look at my hands, and they don’t even feel like mine.
And tonight I get to kill four men.
I huff a dry laugh, still staring at the mask. “Busy day.”
Alexei’s voice replays in my head from earlier.“A meeting with associates. They’ll expect me. Instead, you’ll go. Clean it up.”Four associates. Four bodies. Then I have to show up at some stupid party afterward. Living the goddamn dream.
Erik steps into the kitchen, adjusting the cuffs of his suit. His eyes move past me almost immediately, lighting up. “Well,” he says, voice smooth, “don’t you look stunning.”
