My stomach sinks lower every time, like there’s no bottom to it. That was almost an hour ago. I tried calling him immediately—once, twice, six fucking times—but I was blocked again. Hereached out long enough to rip my heart out and shove it back in my chest sideways.
The fucker.
Heather is nestled into my chest on one corner of the couch, fast asleep. Her arm is draped over my stomach, her breath warm and soft against my throat. Emma and Adela are curled up on the other end of the couch under a shared blanket, watchingHowl’s Moving Castle. I guess it’s Emma’s comfort movie. She watches it whenever she’s sad, or overwhelmed, or trying not to think too hard about things. I’m not much of a cartoon guy, but fuck, it’s actually pretty good. The colors are soft, and the music is gentle. I like that right now.
I never told Emma or Heather about either time he contacted me. I feel like an asshole, but I don’t want them scared. Not when they finally feel hopeful that we have a shot at helping him. I did tell Rafe, though. He just told me that they’re definitely fucking around in Jude’s head. Either Jude genuinely doesn’t want to be saved, or he’s too scared of us getting involved. I really hope it’s the latter. Rafe also added that when someone is driven to the point of near-insanity, they inflict the most damage. He’s interested to see the monster Alexei has ripped out of my best friend. He said that everyone has a monster on the inside, but some of us just hide it better.
Rafe’s a crazy motherfucker, but he’s the right kind. Adela matches him perfectly. She’s darkness wrapped in a hot body and an intelligent brain.
Nico’s pacing the dining room with a laptop, muttering to himself like an insane person with wild eyes and restless energy. Meanwhile, Kieran is dead asleep in the oversized chair, mouth open, arms crossed, like nothing on this earth could disturb him. He seems to be the one out of all of them who gives the least fucks about anything.
Heather shifts against me, letting out a soft little sound into my neck. My dick twitches automatically.Jesus Christ.
I tighten my arm around her instinctively, savoring her warmth, her weight, and the reality of her being mine. This woman flipped my entire fucking world upside down, and I don’t regret a second of it. Thank hell for that.
Emma laughs at something Adela says, and it hits me straight in the chest. Sunshine in human form, that girl. Looking at her next to Adela is almost funny. Heaven and hell are sharing a fuzzy fucking blanket.
I try to stay here. Ireallydo. But I can’t fucking focus. All I hear is Jude’s voice from the first call. The rage in it was horrific, like he was barely holding himself together. He didn’t sound like Jude. Not the one I know, anyway.
And now...
If you show up, I will kill you myself.
What the fuck did they do to you?
I swallow hard, staring down at Heather’s beautiful sleeping face. Jude’s threat worked. I won’t pretend it didn’t. The idea of Heather or Emma getting caught in the crossfire makes me fucking nauseous. If walking away keeps them safe…
The thought doesn’t finish, because the other half of it is worse. If I walk away, Jude will endure a brutal hell none of us could even fathom. And that might already be killing him.
Rafe’s voice suddenly pulls me back from my thoughts. “Got it.”
A second later Nico lets out a sharp laugh of triumph. “No way,” he says. “No fucking way that actually worked.” Both of them lean back from the laptops at the dining table, grinning like maniacs.
Emma pauses the movie instantly, blanket slipping from her shoulders as she springs off the couch. “What? What happened?”
Rafe gestures her over, tapping the screen. “That monitoring flag we tripped two days ago? It’s gone. Completely rerouted the traffic through a clean chain. If anyone tries to trace us now, they’ll end up chasing ghosts across five different countries.”
Nico nods, eyes bright. “We basically just disappeared.”
Emma presses a hand over her mouth, relief hitting her so fast it almost looks like she might cry. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” Rafe says. “We’re not done yet. His private servers are still locked behind layered authentication, and that’s going to take time, but at least now we can work without announcing ourselves every five minutes.”
“Meaning,” Nico adds, “we can actually dig into the financials and internal comms without setting off alarms. If there’s a transfer trail, safe houses, shell accounts…we’ll find it.”
Emma exhales hard, then suddenly spins around and rushes back toward the couch. Before I can even react, her arms slide around my shoulders from behind, her chin resting lightly against the top of my head. “They did it,” she whispers, kissing my hair. “We’re getting somewhere.”
“Good,” I murmur, giving her wrist a brief squeeze. The other day when we got flagged, Rafe had cursed multiple times while Adela’s fingers flew over the keyboard. They saved our location from being tracked, thank fuck. So this is great news, actually
She disappears again just as quickly, hurrying back to the dining table where Rafe and Nico are already pulling up new windows, pointing at lines of data like kids showing off a science project.
Across the couch, Adela barely moves, wine glass in hand, completely absorbed in the movie again like explosions could happen behind her and she’d still finish the scene first. “Howl is hot,” she murmurs.
"A cartoon character? Really?"
"Yup," she answers swiftly. "My god."
I snort.
