My heart. It’s breaking. Please…
“I can’t be selfish anymore. I’m putting you in danger just being around you. You need to leave.”
No, stop. Stop, stop, stop…
“And never come back.”
The tired, beating thing in my chest shatters. “No.” The word is barely a whisper.
He inhales, closing his eyes. Tears are flowing down his cheeks. “I will love you for the rest of my days.” He leans down and kisses my forehead. “I just can’t allow you to watch me die. So leave me alone. I don’teverwant to see you again.”
Without another word, he grabs his hoodie, slipping it on over his bare skin. Before I can stop him, he’s gone—swallowed by the cold, cloudy beach outside.
I collapse back against the couch, gasping, trembling, sobsloud in the empty living room. Heather is at my side instantly, wrapping her arms around me. Micah follows, his face etched with the same helplessness that burns through me.
“I have Suboxone now. We’ll get him on it,” Heather murmurs, voice calm and steady. She looks to Micah, who nods. “He may fight, Emma. But we can help him.”
“He broke up with me,” I cry. Tears are in her eyes. Her heart is hurting for me, too. “He told me there is no hope. He’s in too deep now, and…” I swallow past the sharp pain in my throat. “He told me he doesn’t want me to watch him die.”
Micah exhales a heavy breath, turning his back to me. I don’t know what he knows, but judging by his reaction...Jude wasn’t lying.It’s bad.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” I demand, my voice cracking up an octave. “I had hope. I thought we had a plan. I thought…”
Micah’s head turns, though his body remains facing away. “I’m sorry,” is all he can manage.
I stare at him, feeling betrayed. Howdarehe keep this from me. “How bad is it? How bad, Micah? Tell me the fucking truth!”
He avoids my gaze, his lower lip trembling.
I scream now, clinging to my best friend, body shaking and utterly consumed by fear. My chest aches with the knowledge that the man I love is spiraling and I can’t reach him. My hands curl into her sleeves, into her warmth, desperate for some relief. I hate how broken I feel. Hate that I can’t fix him. Hate that loving him this much might not be enough.
Chapter thirty-eight
JUDE GRAVES
When I return from the beach in the evening, I see the house is empty. Emma’s gone. Heather’s gone. The faint smell of vanilla from her perfume lingers, a cruel goddamn reminder of what I've left behind. Twice now. Micah comes out and sits beside me, shoulders slumped, eyes hollow. He doesn’t know what to say.
“Is it...is it true?” he asks finally, voice barely above a whisper. His hands fidget with each other, restless, trying to anchor himself. “You...with Emma...did you—?”
I nod, numb, staring at my hands. “Yeah,” I say quietly. My chest tightens at the memory of her honey-brown eyes staring up at me, the way her lips trembled when I walked out. That lookcrushes me harder than any of Alexei’s men ever could. She’s the one I should be holding forever. The one I should be building a life with.
Micah swallows, eyes darkening. “I’ve seen it coming,” he mutters. “Something’s...shifting with Alexei. Nolan and Adriana have been on edge. It’s escalating. Withyou. Jude…he’s going to take you. Nolan’s handing him the fucking leash, man.”
I don’t respond. I stare at the worn carpet, tasting the bitter residue of everything I’ve just fucking lost today.
The sudden sound of tires outside snaps me back. My stomach drops even if I know who is coming for me. The door bursts open. Nolan and Adriana step inside, three of Alexei’s men flanking them, each a black-clad shadow of intimidation. My chest goes cold, every instinct I have screaming at me to bolt.
“Jude,” Nolan says too casually. “Time to go.”
Adriana doesn’t speak. She just looks at me with…concern.
One of the men steps closer. “Alexei’s been watching,” he says. “After your last job. We saw the overdose. He wants you removed from this situation immediately. Your emotions are...too complicated for his liking.”
I close my eyes, the numbness spreading through my body. The reality of Emma not being able to protect me like she so desperately wanted, of being dragged even further into his world...it feels heavier than any drug or life I’ve taken.
My phone buzzes, and I glance at it. The screen lights up to show a voice message from Alexei. My chest tightens.
“Listen to it,” the man demands.
