Micah pounds on the door, voice cracking. “Jude.”
I pull the plunger back out, toss the needle onto the desk, and open the door.
Micah looks at me like he’s watching me destroy myself. “How much did you use?”
“Shut up,” I bite out. “Enough to be fucking fine. Obviously.”
His eyes go glassy with tears.
I grab my shirt, wincing as I pull it on. My skin buzzes because the meth high didn’t smooth the edges the way heroin does. It just sharpens them.
I head for the front door.
“Where are you going?” His voice is careful.
“Emma’s.”
Micah shakes his head, almost stepping in front of me. “Dude, you can’t. You’re not good right now. You’ll scare her.”
I shove past him. “No, I won’t,” I mutter.
And even if I do...I need her anyway. I need something to pull me back from whatever Alexei is turning me into. What happened tonight ripped me closer to an edge I am terrified to fall over, and she’s the only fucking thing that has a chance at bringing me back. From being swallowed and becoming a goddamn demon.
Because she’s light in human form.
And I need her.
I knock on her front door, my knuckles stinging more than the ribs already do. I hate myself for being here. I feel myself slipping. The man at the beach the other day is different from this one right now. How so? I don’t fucking know.
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know…
I wince at the racing thoughts ricocheting inside my skull. The door opens a crack, and there she is. Brown hair messy, eyes half-lidded like she was sleeping. “Jude...what’s going on? Is everything alright?”
I don’t answer. I shove the door open, letting it slam softly behind me. Darkness swallows us. Her house smells like her—coffee, laundry detergent, vanilla. It’s safe and warm and everything I need right now. Before she can react, I press her back against the wall. My mouth finds hers. Her lips are soft, her breath catches, but she doesn’t push away. She melts into me immediately.
I can feel the bruises along my ribs, and the meth thrumming through my veins.I need this. I need her. Because soon, I’m going to lose her forever.
Her hands fly to my chest, gripping me, trying to figure out what’s wrong with me and why I’m so urgent. I move against her anyway, rough, frantic, because every second without her is a storm inside my skull.
“Jude…” she gasps, caught between warning and want. She bites my lip. Hard. I hiss. Her nails dig into my shoulders, and for the briefest second, panic flickers, but I push it down.
I pull back just enough to see her face in the dim light. Groggy, wide-eyed, and confused, but still responding. Stillletting me in.
Please, Emma. Save me. I’m drowning.
She gasps again, and I kiss her with every jagged emotion and dark thing I’ve done. My hands are tangled in her hair, pulling her closer, when the lock clicks.
What the—
The door swings open before I can process. Heather’s there, key in hand, face twisted between panic and fury. Behind her, Micah stands frozen, eyes wide as if he’s seeing a ghost. And by all accounts, heis.
“Jude—what the hell are you doing?!” Heather shouts.
I freeze. Emma presses against me instinctively, confusion flashing across her face because she hasn’t realized what’s happening yet.
“Micah?” I rasp, voice rough, high from the meth and adrenaline. “Why...why are you—”
“Shut up!” Heather cuts me off, stepping forward. “You’re not in your right mind. You could hurt her.”
