“It’s just sitting there taking up space, drives my dad crazy.” He raked a hand over his short hair. He always buzzed it at the start of a season, so it was shorter than the last time I’d seen him, and he somehow looked even better. I hated that he could pull off a buzzcut better than male models. “I couldn’t bring myself to sell it. Too manymemories.”
Past snippets of our teen selves bumping along dirt roads while singing U2 songs swamped my brain and nostalgia squeezed my heart. I closed my eyes, willing it all away. I couldn’t let old memories cloud my judgement, not while I still needed to figure out our future. “So, where are we going?”
“There’s a pretty good food spot near my place. I live in West Loop,” he explained. “There’s a lot of new restaurants and shops down here. I think you’ll like it.”
Why would that matter?The question was on the tip of my tongue, but I wasn’t ready to unleash all the thoughts in my head just yet.
After he parked on a side street, I followed him into a swanky looking lobby of a building with dark leather couches, exposed brick, and unique lighting fixtures. To the right, people were busy working on laptops in front of a coffee stand. To the left was a brick hallway with a sign for Scottie’s Bar and Grille.
JP reached for my hand, but I tucked my hands in my pockets. He lost the right to hold my hand after his last night on the cruise.
“Sorry.” His throat bobbed with a swallow. He nodded to the left. “Let’s go to Scottie’s.”
The hallway led to a large bar area with numerous flat screens, a fully stocked bar, and vinyl booths lining the walls.
He chose a middle booth and I slowly slid in across from him.
“They have really good cheeseburgers,” he said, reaching for a menu, and that’s when I noticed his hand. Not the hand with the rose tattoo—that was still there, taunting me of our good time together. But his other hand. It was now tattooed with a shield that resembled a coat of arms with his last name carefully woven into the design.
“That’s new,” I said quietly.
“What? Oh.” He glanced down at his hand. “No one will ever confuse me again.” He smirked.
My whole body froze. “You did that because of me?”
He shrugged.
“JP.” I held my temples. “I don’t understand you.” He was breaking up with me one moment, then going out and getting a tattoo because of me the next? “The last time I saw you, you were practically dumping me. Nothing’s changed.”
His grey eyes seared into mine. “A lot has changed.” When I started to speak up, he continued on, “But don’t worry. We’ll take itone step at a time.”
He went back to reading the menu, but I stared straight ahead, my mind threatening to spin out of control with a million different hypotheticals. He was way too calm about this situation. Then again, it wasn’thiswhole life that was changing. It was mine.
“Relax Al,” he said, still scanning the menu. “I always wanted a coat of arms, I just didn’t know where to put it. You inspired me when it came to the placement.”
When the waitress wandered over with two glasses of water, he gave her a kind smile and placed an order of two cheeseburgers and a basket of fries to split.
“Thank you,” I breathed out.
He nodded. “So, you have no plans?”
I scoffed. “Is it that obvious?”
His face tightened in sympathy. “How about you come stay with me for a couple days. Just relax, let things settle for a second, get your feet back under you.”
I was shaking my head before he could finish the offer. “I’m just going to drive back to my parents’ house.”
A muscle jumped in his jaw. “Back to Michigan? You haven’t been back there since…” he trailed off and shook his head. “No, don’t do that.”
“Excuse me?” I folded my arms in front of my chest, challenging him with a glare.
“Sorry, that came out wrong.” He rubbed his forehead. “I know I’m in no place to ask you anything, but I’d really rather you not go back there without me. Please,” he tacked on.
“You’re right. You are in no place to ask,” I said, taking a sip of my water. “You just don’t want me to go back because I’m pregnant with your…” I waved a hand in front of my face. I couldn’t bring myself to say it yet. Saying it would make it that much more real.
“No.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Pregnant or not, I wouldn’t want you to go back there alone. Not until we check up on his location.”
The waitress approached our table with the basket of fries and we both fell silent.
