“Ah, sorry, babe,” he said, stealing his hands back for a second to blow on them. “Which friends did you skate with?”
I forced myself to relax. “Just friends.” I reached behind me and patted his hair.
“Yeah, you said.” He let out a rough chuckle. “Who?”
“Mer and Piper.”
He snorted. “You three went pond skating together?” he asked dubiously.
“Yeah,” I said defensively. “Why not?”
“Who else, Ali?” His rough hand rubbed my upper arm back and forth. He always rubbed in the exact same place over and over, making me almost itchaway from his touch. I asked him to change it up sometimes, but he always forgot.
“Hmm Patrick,” I added. “Let’s go to sleep. So tired,” I mumbled.
“Who else?” he pushed.
I rolled my eyes. “The usual boys were there too.”
His hand stopped rubbing and clamped around my upper arm.
“Mark, let go,” I said, trying to shake him off. I tried to turn and face him, but I was stuck there. “Mark,” I repeated, feeling annoyed.
His hold became tighter.
“Mark,” I whispered harshly, shoving against him.
He finally loosened his grip. “Sorry, zoned out. Long day. Those three self-absorbed assholes? Why didn’t you tell me? You were trying to hide it from me?”
“No.” I rubbed my arm and turned to face him. “It just doesn't matter.”
His face creased with concern. “Do I have something to be worried about?”
“No,” I repeated, rolling my eyes. “They were there because Mer is dating Colt, and he’s the one who organized it. I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d be weird about it, but I really wanted to go.” I didn’t have many friends. I rarely ever got invited anywhere, and he knew that. “Can we just go to sleep now?” I asked, feeling irritation gnawing at my insides. I suddenly wished Mark wouldn't have come tonight.
“Itdoesmatter, Ali. I don’t want you hanging out with other guys. You know how that makes me look?”
“Okay, but they’re just friends.” I rubbed my arm again, feeling annoyed as I flipped back around to face my wall.
“Even JP?”
My heart fell.
Mark knew all about my longstanding crush on JP thanks to Kali fricken Beaufort and her big fat mouth. The part of my diary she read aloud for the whole school to hear was unfortunately all about JP.
Sucking in a breath for patience, I said, “Yes, even JP. He’s just a friend. I had a crush on him when I was, like, fourteen, okay?” But even as I said the words, I felt guilt brewing up inside of me.
My mind was tied up in knots, not knowing how to handle this. Behind me, Mark was all tensed up, making me feel tense. Part of me felt guilty, like I deserved Mark’s anger because I had been flirting with JP. Should I be apologizing? Kicking him out? I wasn’t sure. Did I want him to stay or go? I was so used to sleeping with him curled up behind me. And did I really want to be alone?
No, I didn’t.
But I had a feeling I needed to be.
Closing my eyes, I gathered up my courage to whisper, “Maybe you should go.”
Instead of leaving, he went eerily still.
“Mark?”
