My heart squeezed in my chest. He just looked so discouraged that I could take it. I reached for his large hand and placed it on my stomach. “He doesn’t.”
I could feel a little of his tension bleed out as he heaved a sigh. His face softened as he stared down at my stomach. His throat bobbed with a swallow before his eyes came to mine. “You’re right.” He leaned down to kiss my head and lingered against me for a second. “Thank you, baby.”
“JP, I think—”
The door chimed, signaling customers walking into the shop. JP and I both straightened up and fixed fake smiles on our faces while we gave directions to a young family.
After cashing them out, we went back to untangling the Christmas lights, but I kept trying to read JP’s face. He had bags under his eyes from losing sleep, making him look permanently weary, and I noticed he was back to taking painkillers for his shoulder. He needed to get back to Chicago. He needed his team's physical therapist. He needed his reputation back, hislifeback. He was stuck facing the consequences from my past actions. It wasn’t fair, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could sit back and watch it happen.
When we laid down in bed that night, I pulled the quilt up to my chin and turned to face his chest. “I think I should talk to him.”
His body stiffened. “Absolutely not.”
“JP, if that’s the only way he’ll stop, then I think—”
“We’ll find another way, I promise. You donotneed to do that.”
Silence settled around us.
“I think I do, though,” I said quietly. “I think I need to see this to the end.”
“He could go after you, Ali.”
But I can’t keep watching him go after you, I mentally argued.
JP tipped my chin up. Even in the dark, I could see the kindness in his eyes. “I won’t be able to take it if he does anything to you. Please don’t go near him. Please, Ali. Promise me?”
“Okay, but…” I sucked in a shaky breath. “If it comes down to it, I—”
“No, baby.” His hand trailed over my hair. “I’ll throw everything away. I don’t care about any of it. I don’t care if I ever play hockey again. I don’t care if they slap me with every fine in the book. I only care about our family. I need you, Ali. I need you and our babies safe. I just…” He licked his lips. “That’s my only goal, okay?”
A burning lump formed in my throat, threatening to cut off my voice. “But I don'twantyou to lose hockey or anything else,” I forced out.
“Then I won’t. Wewillfigure this out. Just give it a little more time, all right?”
I nodded, but I knew this wasn’t fair.
I was the one responsible for bringing Mark into our lives, so I was responsible for shutting him out of it as well. I was the one whorefused to report Mark all those years ago when JP begged me to. And I was the one who stayed married to him on paper because I was too scared to argue with him or face him again. If I were being honest with myself, I’d admit that I didn’t see the point in fighting for the divorce because I thought I wasn’t allowed to move on. I thought I didn’t deserve to. And deep down, I was scared to even try for the kind of life I always wanted, so it was easier to keep running.
But I wasn’t scared anymore.
And I was done running.
I would fight for our happy ending, even if it was the last thing I did.
I was going to the rink tomorrow.
42. JP - I SHOULD TALK TO HIM
Beams of sunlight broke into my bedroom, waking me up. Yesterday was a long day, and I wasn’t in a rush to leave bed this morning. Moving to my back, I reached over to find Ali, but I touched cold sheets.
My eyes flashed open to see the empty bedding beside me.
“Ali?” I called out, but there was no answer.
Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I searched her side of the room. Her phone was taken from the charger on the nightstand. Her jacket was no longer hanging beside mine on the back of the door.
I got up in a flash, almost stumbling over from the blood rush. Scrambling out to the kitchen, I pulled the shades up to see my dad’s truck alone in the driveway.
