“Don’t worry, I’d never punch first.”
I rolled my eyes. “Iamworried. I don’t want anyone to get punched.”
“For what it’s worth,” Kappy interjected, “I don’t think you’d have to lure him into anything. Rossi used to get irrationally angry whenever he saw your face, JP.”
“He still does.” JP rubbed his jaw. “I’m just worried about the kids and the woman he was with.”
“Listen, let me and Piper take care of it. Can you give us a couple days?” Kappy asked.
JP hung his head in resignation. I rubbed his arm, trying to let him know I was okay with it. “Yeah, fine,” he finally said.
Kappy’s eyes flicked to mine, then back to JP. “Can you take me off speakerphone for a second.”
Feeling a little jilted, I moved away from JP and wandered into the kitchen to make us some bowls of cereal. JP and I started ending each night with a bowl of cereal on the couch, and it was quickly becoming my favorite part of the day.
A few minutes later, JP wandered into the kitchen behind me. He leaned against the doorway and crossed his socked feet. “I’m sorry.”
I shrugged off his apology. “Nothing to be sorry for. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, we’re not keeping anything from you. Kappy just… uh…” He racked his hand over his short hair. “He yelled at me.”
My eyebrows flew up in question.
JP gave me a sheepish grin. “He said I shouldn't be making a pregnant woman stressed out and that I was being too aggressive and freaking you out with my anger. I’m sorry if I upset you.”
My heart melted. I wanted to give Kappy a hug. “I told you he was perceptive.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” JP snorted. “I didn’t mean to be so…” he cut himself off. “I just hate that this guy is anywhere near youth hockey. You should’ve seen his team, Ali.” His voice was tinged with desperation. “He’s ruining the sport for those kids.”
“This is all my fault,” I said, feeling the blame down to my core.
JP’s face cracked. “What? No. How did you jump to that?”
“I should’ve reported him years ago when you told me to.” A burning lump formed in my throat. “I should’ve gone to the hospital or the police or donesomethingthat night.”
JP’s face softened. He moved toward me and pulled me into a hug. “Ali, it was his fault you didn’t want to tell anyone. He made you scared.”
“Thank you for saying that, but it doesn’t help that much. I feel guilty about bringing this mess into our lives.” I held my forehead. “And I feel guilty that another woman is possibly experiencing the same things I did.” I winced at the pain radiating down my pelvis.
JP pulled back. “You good?”
“Yeah, just hurts.” I shifted my weight.
JP immediately started massaging my hips. “Ali, what he does is not on you. Don’t let him fuck with your head anymore, all right?” he said earnestly. “And we’re in this together. It’s not your mess, it’s our mess.”
My eyes fell closed and I slowed my breathing, trying to believe him. “I just wish we could warn that woman about how he really is.”
His hands paused for a moment. “Something tells me she already knows how he is.”
My face fell. “We have to help her.”
JP gave me a forlorn smile. “She has to ask for help, Ali,” he said.
A feeling of deep helplessness hit me right in the chest.
I knew what he was saying. I fought against everyone’s allegations against Mark for years, including JP’s. No one could make me leave the situation. I needed to leave on my own. And it was hard. It was hard because Mark played games with my head, making me feel bad for him, making me feel like I was a terrible person for ever being upset with him. He had a way of changing everything to make it look and feel like it was my fault.
Mark had a way of stripping down my confidence so that I didn’t feel strong enough to leave him. And that’s how you know if you're dating a good person or not. A good guy will make you feel beautiful, strong, and loved. Even if the relationship doesn’t work out, you’ll leave with memories of his compliments and kindness. A bad guywill leave you feeling weak, low, and unworthy of love. You have to find your way back from the bad guy. And sometimes, you need a little help.
