Mark was all fire. Hot passion that burned so bright it occasionally threatened to burn me, but I was addicted anyway.
JP was a fireplace, always keeping me safe and warm.
___________
There was a reason JP made that final request before he left.
Because it was obvious it was going to happen.
So when Mark asked me to move in with him that fall, I said yes, even though I knew in the back of my mind that I was betraying JP. It wasn’t that Ireally wanted to move in with Mark. I just didn’t want to be alone.
A girl could do some very stupid things to avoid loneliness.
I just so happened to do all of them.
But in the beginning, it was nice living with Mark. It felt like I was living in a happy little bubble. It was nice to come home to someone. It was nice that he cooked dinner for us most nights. And it was nice to fall asleep next to him, even though he didn’t particularly like cuddling the way I did. He’d only cuddle if he wanted something from me. Most nights, he kept his distance from me in bed and complained I made him too hot if I tried to get closer. On those nights, I unfortunately felt lonelier than if I would’ve actually been alone.
But he was right next to me. I had to appreciate that.
And I had no room to complain because things were going great for everyone.
Anastasia and her partner already won an early bye to the 2014 Nationals in California.
Piper and Patrick were the next to make it by winning the Grand Prix.
Mer and her partner, Andy, won sectionals, giving them the green light to book their flights.
And then there was me.
I fell on my very last jump at sectionals. A double axel. A jump I’d been doing since the age of twelve.
I placed fourth. One spot short of making it to Nationals.
But in a weird twist of fate, the girl who placed third sustained an injury while training—something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
And I suddenly had my own ticket to California booked to hopefully make the 2014 Olympic team with my friends.
I just had to keep my head down and keep grinding for two more months—until Nationals in January.
Tonight was one of the nights that Mark actually wanted me, probably because the alcohol I could smell on his breath.
“I just love you so much,” he said with heavy eyes. “But I feel like I'm going to lose you as soon as the rest of the world knows you.”
“The rest of the world?”
“Yeah, you’re gonna make the Olympic team and I’m going to lose you,” he said in a gruff voice.
Red flags shot up in my head. The only times he lost it was when he was feeling insecure in our relationship. He hadn’t lost it in over a year. Not since he felt threatened by JP when he came home with a broken jaw.
“That’s not going to happen,” I said, brushing his dark hair back. “I’m happy. We’re happy.” I mustered up my best sweet smile.
He grasped my wrist. “We could get married.”
My hand froze in his hair. “W-what?”
“Marry me, baby,” he said passionately. I could practically see the wheels spinning in his head. “This will be perfect. Do you want to? We could. We should.”
It felt like a frog was lodged in my throat. As the seconds ticked by, his face grew harder and his grasp on my wrist tightened. I needed to respond, to say something, but I wasn’t sure what.
