I had to tamper down a grin as I helped Ali with her coat. “Looks like you made some new friends, eh?”
“Yeah,” she said with a small smile. “I did.”
26. JP – DID YOU GUYS HEAR THAT?
The car ride back to Colt and Mer’s place was tense and silent. I wanted to talk everything out with Ali, but I was white-knuckling the steering wheel, driving cautiously through the first snowstorm of the season.
“Can you see all right?” Ali asked worriedly. “It looks like we’re in the start of aStar Warsmovie. Like the snowflakes are the stars and we’re zooming forward, you know what I mean?”
I did know what she meant, but I was too focused to reply. The pick-up truck next to us laid on the horn as he sped past us.
“Asshole,” Ali muttered. “Just take your time,” she said softly. “Go the speed you’re comfortable with. You’ve got it.”
I could feel sweat forming on my brow as I nodded. I was never this nervous to drive in the snow, but something about having a pregnant woman in my front seat had my heart hammering in my chest.
I spotted the turn off for West Loop and wished for the millionth time that Ali was coming back to my place instead of Colt’s. Dropping her off felt all wrong. I hated the separation between us, and I needed to make it right. I just had to wait until after we were safely parked.
As soon as we pulled off the highway, Ali relaxed a little in theshotgun seat. “That was a little tense, wasn’t it?” she said with a little laugh. “I haven’t driven in snow in about a decade. Good job.”
I gave a small smile of thanks as I navigated through Colt and Mer’s subdivision. As soon as I had my truck in park, I laid my head against the wheel and breathed a sigh of relief.
Ali let out a little laugh and moved to exit the car. “Thank you for driving, JP.”
“Wait, Ali,” I said hurriedly. “Can we talk? Please?” I couldn’t go another night with all this awkward tension between us.
She slowly sat back in her seat and rolled her lips together. “Okay, I was going to drop it all, but…” Her nose flared with a breath. “At first, I was going to yell at you. Just because I’m here in Chicago doesn't mean you get to call the shots, JP. You had no right to bombard Niko with all those texts. What if I went out with a stranger tonight? You wouldn’t have been able to do that. You and I are just friends, JP, and I was having a perfectly fun night. But then—”
“I know that, and I’m sorry,” I interrupted her. “Sorry.” I shook my head. “But then?”
“But then…” She chewed on her bottom lip. “I realized that I didn’t take into account how everything in the past affected you too. And that’s not fair of me.” Her shoulders fell. “And I can understand why you’d be nervous. And I’m sorry for that.” She reached to touch me, then pulled back. I wanted to grab her hand back. “But you can’t have it both ways. You don’t get to be jealous when you were the one who said you didn’t want me,” she said softly.
“That was before—”
“Before you knew I was pregnant, I know,” she said uneasily.
“No, Ali,” I said forcefully. “I made a hugemistake. A mistake that I tried to fix as soon as I left that ship.”
“As soon as you left? With the note? That was sweet, but that wasn’t you admitting anything, JP. That was basically saying we were still friends after everything, which I really, truly appreciated, but—”
“The note?” I shrunk back. “No. I tried to call and text you a million times the week I got off the cruise. I knew as soon as I left the ship that I was making a huge mistake. I almost booked another fucking week because I was going out of my mind. I only stopped leaving messages because it felt like I was being pushy and creepy. After everything you’ve been through, I didn't want to be that guy. I didn’t want to freak you out or make you feel cornered.”
She turned her gaze to the windshield and watched the snow fall for a second, seemingly lost in thought. A minute later, her eyes narrowed on my face. “Youneversaid you wanted me back. I never got a single text or call saying that.”
My heart felt like it was exploding in my chest. I rummaged in my jacket pocket for my phone and pulled it out. I started searching back through our texts. With a stubborn pout on her face, she did the same thing.
“Look, absolutely nothing before I came back for Hans’ funeral,” she said, shoving her phone at me.
“Look,” I said, scrolling through about a hundred blue bubbles under her name that went unanswered.
Her mouth dropped open.
“They say delivered, Ali,” I said helplessly.
“Oh my God.” Her hand flew to her chest. “You only texted for a week.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry.” I hung my head. “I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t know want to scare you or suffocate you, I didn’t know—”
“And Mer and Piper didn’t know you were texting me,” she said, staring straight forward.
