“No, you don’t.” His eyes softened. “You always loved snow and outdoor skating more than anyone I know, Sav.”
What I didn’t say aloud was that I hated winter now because it took Nick away from me… but I just stayed looking at Griff’s chest, steadily moving as he breathed… and I was thankful for that.
“But if you really want me to stay, I will,” Griff added.
43. Griff
I ended up bending to her wishes and sleeping over. It was the least I could do for her. I’d stayed on this living room couch plenty of times in the past five or six years and knew it was comfy. They had one of those couches that was extra deep and had a chaise lounge attached to it.
We sat there for a while watching Christmas movies on Netflix, even though it was January, with Beau sleeping peacefully between us.
“You just can’t not smile when looking at him,” I said while giving him some belly pets.
“He is a beautiful lil pup. I kinda hope he’s still small when the baby comes. They can grow up together then,” she said with a smile. “That’d be cute, no?”
“Super cute,” I said with raised eyebrows.
“Cute sounds funny coming from you. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say it before,” she giggled while pointing it out, and I loved hearing her laughagain.
“It is what it is. And he is cute,” I affirmed. “I’m happy I got him. He’s like a lil therapy dog for us.”
She paused uncomfortably at that, and I replayed my words, not thinking anything of it.
“Did you just say therapy dog?” she asked slowly. “You think I need therapy, Griff?”
Yes. I did. Did she not want that? Was that offensive? I didn’t think it was at all, but she was stubborn as all hell, always wanting to do everything herself and never wantinghelp.
“Um… Yeah?” I offered kinda lamely.
She set her jaw and stared at me.
“I don’t need anything.I’mfine,” she snapped. “You were the one who was drunk as a skunk. Maybeyoudo.”
Well, that felt like a slap in the face.
I shifted uncomfortably on the couch. “Sav, I said, ‘for us.’ What happened was fucked up. We shouldn’t have losthim.”
“We?” She looked at me accusingly. “I lost my husband, Griff.”
“And I lost my best friend,” I said dryly. “Is there some kinda grieving competition that I’m unaware of? You can’t hold this poorly misconstrued conviction that you’re playing life with a shittier hand than everyone else, Savannah. You’ll be living in a pity party the rest of your life if that’s the case, and it’s just not true.”
Now it was her turn to look like I’d slappedher.
Her lip quivered, and I instantly felt like shit. She stood up and dragged the blanket off the couch with her as she walked toward her bedroom, not even bothering to look back at me once.
“I shouldn’t have said that,” I said to Beau. But at the same time… I wouldn’t take it back that I thought she needed therapy. I fuckin did too. I knew her well enough to know that she needed someone to push her a bitsometimes.
A couple minutes later, I heard her bedroom door open and slam shut again.
On further inspection, I realized she threw an extra pillow and blanket out on the floor outside her room for me.
“Okay, then,” I muttered to myself as I walked across the creaky, cold hardwood floor to retrieve them.
I fell asleep at some point during the ongoing Christmas movie marathon that I was too lazy to change, but I woke up around midnight to the sound of her padding toward me.
She had a fluffy blanket wrapped around her making her look even smaller than usual, and she stood at the edge of the room, biting her lip and looking stuck in indecision.
“I can’t sleep in there…” she confessed. “I thought I could, but I can’t-” her voice cracked.
