I sat in my little cubby in the locker room feeling my legs shake.
This was the most nervous I’d felt in a long ass time.
I’d never been called up before, so this experience was brand new to me. I could hear the crowd every time someone opened the locker room door and I wished they’d keep it shut. I didn’t need reminding that there was a lot of fuckin people out there who’d see me flop if I messed up.
Coach was talking at the front of the room, but I put my head down between my knees, sending up a quick prayer that I would do alright and that I wouldn’t barf right here in front of everyone.
“Hey.” I felt someone tap my skate with a stick.
I looked up to see Griff’s clear eyes staring atme.
“I told Grey and them that I’d watch out for ya. How ya doin, bud?” hewhispered.
I looked from him to Coach up front drawing all over the white board and shook myhead.
“I threw up before my first game,” he admitted. “A lot of guys do. But think- you’ve got your girl here. She’s never seen you play, has she? Just play a good game for her.”
He was right… and thinking back to drinks at The Landslide, Ellie admitted she’d never paid too much attention to hockey, so she probably wouldn’t even know if I played like shit. But a voice in my head argued that wasn’t necessarily true…She told you to score, youloser.
I tried to swallow, but my throat felt like sandpaper. She was up there with the ladies, she made it all the way here for me, I needed to play for her. I closed my eyes and pictured her bright green ones.
I fished my phone out of my bag below me and sent out a quick text to Ellie:Nervous as shit. Too bad you can’t lay on me. Hope you’re havingfun.
“Vinny!” Coach boomed. “Something more important than myplays?”
I cursed softly to myself. “Sorry Coach, I’m a…I’m…” I couldn’t find the words to finish.
“Nervous as fuck! We all know! Get your head in the game, son!” he yelled, to which many guys chuckled.
I felt my phone buzz, but I didn’t dare look at it.
Coach kept talking, but I don’t think I heard a single thing he said.
He finally called for everyone to exit the locker room, and I watched as everyone tapped their stick against a small #33 that was written on an empty locker next to the door.
“Need a minute, son?” Coach asked in a kinder, but still gruff tone.
“Thanks,” I said quietly. I took the opportunity to look at my phone, and I was glad that I did. There were two texts.
The first read:Don’t be a weak bitch, Vinny! I don’t date weak bitches. Get out there and score some goals.
The second one said:You can do it. I believe in you.
My girl, quoting my coach mode back to me. I laughed tomyself.
I could do this. She believed in me like I believed in her… and she faced her demons coming here. It was my turn to fightnow.
I quickly put my phone away and hustled to exit the lockerroom.
As soon as I pushed the door open, I was shocked by the deafening noise.
I punched my own helmet a couple times with my glove, willing myself to toughen up and not shit my pants. I shouldn’t have stayed the extra second back, because now I’d be walking outalone.
“You got it, you got it, you got it,” I repeated to myself with each step down the hall and closer to the ice.
I tried to block out all the fans hanging their heads down the side of the entrance, waving to me. I’d usually eat that up and love waving and playing it up for them, but today I wasshaking.
I kept my vision and focus on the white surface in front of me, and my nerves eased as soon as I jumped onto the ice and powered onto the smooth surface. All was right in the world when I was skating.
