This big teddy bear. Max always was a hopeless romantic. I usually wasn’t a touchy- feely person, except when it came to Grey that is, but I threw my arms around him and gave him a hug. He smelled like chew and beer; Paige would probably rip him a new one about the chew later tonight. I felt an overwhelming gratefulness towards him. How I ever thought he’d be holding a grudge against me I didn’t know. He was one of the nicest guys I’d ever met. He’d been the one to throw us together again and I was grateful. He brought me back into the group. The feeling of being wanted was something I yearned for so long and I felt it here with these friends.
“Thank you,” I whispered to him.
“No problem little Mama,” Max replied in my ear.
“Why are your arms around my girl?” Greyson asked in a gruff voice.
“She’s hugging me!” Max called. “We all love each other, okay?!”
“Jesus,” Smitty said as he walked up behind Grey and slapped a hand on his back. “Max is just as sappy as drunk chicks. He’s white girl wasted.” He shook his head and placed a flight of shots on the table.
Grey ushered Max out of the booth to make some room for him. He had wanted to be next to me and touching me all night. It made me feel secure and wanted with his hand on my hip or lower back, or just in mine. I had a feeling it was just as much for him as it was for me.
He placed a beer in front of me and slid in, not realizing I’d be on his right side. I let a slight giggle out when he realized this. He was purposely having me in his left side to hold my hand and touch me without his bulky cast interfering.
“Damnit,” he groaned and took a swig of his beer. He tipped his head back slightly and his Adam’s apple bobbled up and down. Funny how I found the most ordinary things he did so sexy.
I took hold of his casted hand and placed it in my lap and leaned to kiss him on the cheek.
“It doesn’t bother me,” I told him, quietly so the others wouldn’t hear. They were engrossed in a serious debate and ignoring us anyway though.
“Makes me feel like a pussy that I overreacted and did this in the first place,” he said softly. His serious eyes were lined with red from the alcohol.
I smoothed out his free thumb and finger in my lap, “it made me realize though…” I looked into his dark chocolate brown eyes. “It was real. How we loved each other. Right?” I felt my voice get high with the need of assurance.
“Yes,” he choked out. “It was real.”
“Woah! You guys look way too serious,” Max interrupted from across the booth. “Let’s down these shots and hit the dance floor!”
Grey coughed out a laugh and passed the shots out.
“Toast!” Smitty yelled and drummed the table.
Grey cleared his throat, “To Jules, to her birthday, and to every other birthday of everyone’s here being together as well.”
I was shocked at his words. The open proclamation that he wanted me to stay, that I was part of the group again. His words held no hesitation. He said them in a solid and almost commanding voice. I felt red creeping into my cheeks.
The rest of the group cheered.
We made eye contact then. He downed the shot without taking his eyes from mine.
He gestured to the glass in my hand, questioning if I’d accept the toast.
I was scared to want it. But I did want what he just said. I wanted it to my very core.
I closed my eyes and tossed it back and was met with more cheers from the group.
“That’s my girl,” Grey said with the corners of his lips turning into a naughty smile. “Dance?” I nodded and gave a surprised cry as he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me out of the booth.
“So, best birthday?” Grey asked with an easy smile.
We were laying facing each other in his bed with the lights out. He kept the bathroom light on and cracked the door slightly open to give the room a few lines of light, I knew this was for my benefit. I always did that when we were younger, and I still hated complete darkness. It was crazy how many of the little things he remembered.
After I’d first married Kevin, he would stagger up from bed and slam the bathroom door shut to tell me he was annoyed with it and then I’d have to lay there next to him in utter darkness. He kept distance from me in bed. We both knew the drill. We were married, but pretty much in name only. I knew he was still having sex. Just not with me. In all the years of our marriage we never once cuddled and we really didn’t have sex after Canyon was born. I think it was a choice both of us made without ever speaking about it. But we’d lay in bed next to each other and I’d stare at the ceiling and wonder if this was all life would be for me.
Looking at this man across from me, I couldn’t help but think how he was the total opposite, and I couldn’t help but feel so overwhelmingly lucky.
I thought about my favorite birthday for a second before speaking.
