I was unsure of what to say to that, so I answered truthfully, “I really don’t know, babe.” After all, he could’ve been meeting people here.
He craned his neck to see Grey.
My sweet boy. Gratitude and sadness hit me at the same time. I was thankful for my little partner in crime, but sad for Grey. He seemingly had no one.
“Thank you for being my donut buddy,” I patted my boy’s cheek.
A minute later Grey emerged carrying a tray with his left hand. He walked to the farthest corner of the diner from us and sat by himself, keeping his head down and his shoulders hunched up. The sunshine from the windows glowed on him. He had to be hot sitting there, but knowing him he was probably too embarrassed to switch seats. I internally laughed at that notion. Personality couldn’t change that much in a decade, could it? I really could still read him.
Before even realizing it, Canyon had popped off his chair and was running towards him.
I sat there sipping my coffee watching as my son was gesturing over to me.
Grey looked my way and made eye contact with me looking unsure of what to do. This was totally the puppy dog look Paige had referenced. It really did make me want to give him a hug and say that everything would be okay. But maybe that was the mom in me coming out as well.
I gave him a slight smile and nodded and that was all the assurance he needed. He stood slowly, towering over Canyon, and let him lead the way.
We had to hash out what had happened all those years ago, but today I just wanted to enjoy his company and live in our old tradition with my son.
Canyon noisily pulled a chair over for him from the table next to us.
“Good morning,” I told him.
“Uh, hullo,” he said. “Still can’t have morning practice without a donut after, eh?” He joked lightly and gave a hesitant smile. I felt a painful twinge in my heart. A mixture of sorrow and hurt knowing that I had used to kiss that same smile… but I had to stop thinking of him that way. He was Canyon’s coach and friend now, I repeated to myself for the hundredth time.
“I’m on my second!” Canyon said, earning a laugh from Grey.
“And I see you still think donuts are only dessert?” I asked him, gesturing to his bagel.
“Bor-ing,” Canyon chirped, shaking his head at him.
“It’s way too heavy to start the day with,” he countered, relaxing a bit. “At least he’s got the chocolate milk right,” he ruffled Canyon’s hair. “A hockey guy’s favorite.”
“I thought beer was?” Canyon asked.
“Canyon!” I warned.
Grey big shoulders shook as he laughed.
His 6’4 frame was so much larger than Canyon’s and mine. It seemed funny that he was the one with the extra chair.
“You taught him right,” he said softly with an amused quirk of his lip.
I shook my head and took a bite of my donut.
He started to take the knife with his left hand and stopped.
Canyon and I were both watching him then, probably making him feel awkward. He had yet to take his right hand out of his hoodie pocket.
“Something wrong?” I asked him, teasing him a bit. I knew I should’ve kept eating and not brought attention to it, but I couldn’t help it.
He looked sheepishly at me and shook his head no. He proceeded to try to turn the bagel sideways and stab the knife through it. It was not going his way.
“Fuck it,” he growled under his breath and took a bite out of the bagel unsliced and without his beloved butter, something I knew he hated to do.
“Oooh, potty word,” Canyon looked at me questioningly, wondering if I was going to get mad.
Greys cheeks turned red. A rare sight. I hadn’t seen him so unsure of himself since the first time he asked to kiss me at sixteen. It was endearing and saddening at the same time.
