“And I love you,” I told her. “But what if I bleached it blonde and cut half it off, wouldn’t you wonder why?” I raised my eyebrows at her.
She sighed again and started to pull her hand away. I grabbed it back and kept it on my chest. “I’m sorry,” she said, not meeting my eyes.
“No need to be sorry. I like it,” I reached out and tucked stands behind her ear. “It just took me by surprise,” I tried to explain. “Very edgy though,” I said, trying to sound positive.
She arched an eyebrow at me, “You’ve never been good with change, Mr. Scott.” She blew out a breath. “I regret it. I just wanted to be spontaneous and show that I can make my own decisions about myself. But now you probably don’t even like me anymore,” she patted my face. I would’ve been mad if she said that last part for real, but I knew she was joking. Our relationship was much stronger than trivial things.
“Are you petting me?” I asked her as I pulled her on top of me. “You’re drop dead gorgeous, babe.” I pulled her hair back and piled it messily on top of her head. Some strands fell down because they were too short. “No matter what.”
She laughed and dropped her head down flat against me and we laid there in comfort for a couple minutes, silently enjoying cuddling. I could lay there like that with my arms around her all day and be a happy man. But anxiety was coming off her in waves and I knew she wasn’t happy.
“Is it because your grandparents?” I asked quietly, my mind racing to put things together.
She stiffened in my arms and then I felt her nod against my chest.
I ran my hands down her back and then back up again, trying to relax her.
“What if I stayed here with you and never went back?” She mumbled against me so quietly I could barely hear her.
I honestly wouldn’t mind. I knew a lot of guys who didn’t want their girlfriends around all the time, but that just wasn’t me, it wasn’t us. But as much as I’d like her here, I knew Jules well enough to know she was too responsible for that. She wouldn’t want to hide from life or hurt her grandparents like that. She felt deeply and being disconnected from her family would weigh on her. Even though they barely gave a shit and it broke her heart all the time, she continued to try with them. My heart hurt for her.
“If that’s what you want, babe. But I don’t know if it really is?”
I felt her slump against me. “I don’t know anymore. They’re not hearing me.”
“Hearing you about what?”
“About everything,” she sighed again and gave me a serious look. “You want me to be honest?”
I rolled her off me to look in her eyes pointedly, “Yes, Julianna Louise. Spit all of it out right now so I can actually be a good boyfriend and help the next time you drunk cry on me.”
She scrunched her nose at me for calling her by her full name, “I am sorry.”
“Don’t be, babe. It’s my job… but you’re not letting me be very good at it here,” I told her pointedly.
She nodded and then turned her body towards the ceiling and kept her eyes that way, away from me, as she said the rest in a rush: “They want me to go to grad school and they want me away from you.”
“Away from me…?” I asked dumbly.
“They want us to break up, Grey. It’s been a constant argument and I’m so so sick of it.” She faced me then, almost questioning me, and I didn’t like it.
“You don’t want that, do you?” I forced myself to ask it slowly but I felt panicked.
“Hell no.”
Jules barely ever cursed, so I knew she was saying this with conviction.
“I don’t understand why they hate me so much,” I looked into her eyes trying to search for the answer. I’d always wanted to ask her if it had something to do with her father. He’d been a legend hockey player. You’d think they’d want someone resembling their son to enter the family. I didn’t want to push her for answers when she was already stressed, and besides, she really didn’t know much about her father in the first place - it was a conversation she always pushed away. She seemingly placed the subject of her dad in a locked away place somewhere inside her head where I was not allowed. It didn’t seem like a healthy coping mechanism, but what did I know? And her grandparents were worse than her about it. When I first met them, I mentioned their son and how he was an inspiration to kids like me and it was like I mentioned something horrible. Her grandfather snapped back something about being a “womanizer.” I could tell from that interaction that Jules really was truthful in the way that they never ever mentioned him. I’d told her I’d be there for her if she ever did want to talk or find out any info about him- the hockey world was small, I was sure I could find some answers somewhere- but she never brought it up. I pushed the thoughts of her grandparents away and focused on my girl.
“We’re gonna be together forever babe,” I pet her head to try to make things lighter and to ease her worry. “You know I want that right? A backyard with a big rink that I make for our babies, all of it,” I said as earnestly as I could.
She giggled in response, then covered her mouth and blushed for laughing at me.
“You think that’s funny?” I tickled her side, making her squirm against me. Her side was her weakness.
“Is that what adulthood is?” She wheezed in between laughs. “Backyards and babies?”
I eased up on the tickling and let her fall limp on top of me again.
