She blew out a sigh of relief and rubbed her eyes. Looking at her mascara-stained hands she laughed.
“Your identity just gets wrapped into it. Like I am a figure skater. It’s what makes me special. If I quit… I’m a quitter,” she sighed. “I must look horrendous.”
“You’re beautiful, inside and out.” I picked her up and pulled her into my lap. “And a sport does not define that, Jules, it doesn’t define who you are.” I understood what she was explaining. It was something a lot of athletes struggled with… like what do you do and who are you when you’re done? I promised myself right then to be there for her and not let her lose herself.
I smoothed a thumb over her cheek, “And that’s definitely not what makes you special.”
She swallowed hard and I felt her relax into me.
“We are in the bathroom, ya know,” she said quietly. She laid her head against my shoulder, and I kissed the top of her head.
“I don’t care.”
“I’m getting makeup on your favorite workout shirt,” she said.
“Don’t fucking care.”
“Your friends are going to make fun of you,” she sniffed.
“Let em. They’re just jealous I’m wifed up,” I said with a wry chuckle. I ran my hair through her ponytail like I’d done hundreds of times and it dawned on me. “Hey, Jules.”
“Huh?”
“I love you.”
I felt her tense in my arms and look up at me. She gently put her hand against my face, “I love you too, Greyson. So much.”
A laugh bubbled up in my chest then, and her light giggle joined mine despite her glassy eyes. It was the first time we’d said it to each other. On the bathroom floor in the locker room. It didn’t matter where we were, only that we were together.
Chapter Twelve: Grey- Present
“Why wouldn’t you have told me before?” I snapped at Max.
“What- and have you throw up in my office?” He asked with bulging eyes. Max always did that- he enunciated things by widening his eyes all the way out and making big hand gestures. I usually found it funny, but nothing about today was funny.
I was going to see her in the stands watching me again but with her little husband sitting next to her. What the hell kind of sick joke was this? I felt like my knees were being taken out by someone. I was going to get sick again.
“I can’t do it. I’m not going to coach.” I turned to Smitty, “team’s all yours, bud.”
That had them both up in arms arguing with each other from across my new kitchen’s island. My kitchen. Fuck. Why had I bought this fucking house in this fucking town. I did not keep tabs on her at all, but I did check to see if her grandparents were still in this town before purchasing here and I’d gratefully found that there weren’t any Hurley’s in Northfield. Great, that was just more evidence that she’d married and taken another guy’s last name. I’d like to see him. Tell him how she was mine first and he’d never be able to have what she had given me first.
But no. That line of thinking- that’s where I couldn’t go. She was not mine. She hadn’t been in a long time- she didn’t want to be. She’d made that clear a long time ago.
I stared at the wall in front of me. Maybe I’d go out and find myself a bar fight. I could find some asshole who’d love to take a swing at a washed-up NHL-er. If someone knocked me hard enough, maybe I could forget about her. At least for the night. That would probably be the easiest course of action at this point. Violence on the ice had helped me live through the last several years.
I clasped my hands together and nodded. That’s what I’d do. No one cared if I lost my head. I didn’t have anything to lose except those damn memories.
I heard my front door open then, making me pause and the guys finally stop arguing.
“Hi guys!” Paige called out cheerily, causing me to groan. I shouldn’t have given her and Max a key to my place.
“She’s too peppy,” Smitty said, and I couldn’t help but silently agree. Now was not the time for the positivity she oozed.
Paige walked over until she was standing in front of me, paying no attention to Max or Smitty.
She jumped straight to the point, “this could be a good thing for you, Greyson.”
I gave out a frustrated growl and ran my hands through my hair, I needed a haircut and I needed to get out of there. I didn’t want a lecture in my own house.
