She digested that for a minute. “I get that, but there were clearly others who could and would go.”
“We’ll talk about it later,”
She nodded. She was surprised how everyone tried to make the best of the dinner and evening, even after eight of their team members had left for what Mr. Shepherd had called a priority-one mission. After the event was over, they said goodnight to everyone. Laura Lee and Brad promised to be over at the house they were staying at early for breakfast and to open gifts.
“That was so nice of your boss and his wife to have gifts for the kids,” Dorthea said after they were in the car, waiting in the long line of cars to exit the private parking area of the garage.
Burke glanced in the rearview mirror to see the kids. The boys were seated in the third-row seats. They played with the handheld electronic games Shepherd and Diana had given them. Jeriah was in her car seat in the middle row beside Dorthea and she clutched the soft, stuffed mermaid dolly she’d been given, hugging it to her. Her eyes were heavy. He bet she’d be asleep before they even got out of the garage.
“It was unexpected,” Donna said. “When they started giving gifts to the other children, I was trying to figure out how to explain to my kids why they wouldn’t get one because we’d only been in town for a few days and hadn’t been expected at the dinner. I was truly blown away by their kindness.”
“Shepherd is kind of a grandfather to all the kids. I wasn’t surprised that he and Diana wouldn’t let any child feel left out.”
“You had said before that the people you work with at the agency, that it’s more like a family than coworkers, and I see what you mean now,” Donna told him.
“Yes, it is. I hope you had fun tonight,” he said quietly, glancing at Donna.
“I did,” she said with a grin. “I think we all did.” And that was the moment she realized she was a member of the family now, just because of her relationship with Rich. She understood what Rae had meant when they talked the previous day.
X-Ray
Jeriah didn’t fall asleep as Burke thought she would. It was past twenty-two hundred when they got back to the house. They left cookies and milk out for Santa before they went upstairs to get the kids ready for bed. Burke read them the story,T’was the Night Before Christmas, before he and Donna tucked the kids in. Dorthea excused herself to turn in as soon as they’d gotten back.
“I think they’ll go right to sleep,” Donna said. “They’re all tired enough. But I think we should wait about a half an hour before I go check on them before we play Santa.”
“I’m not tired,” Rich said. “We can sit down and watch a movie before we do the Santa setup if you want.”
They were in the kitchen. She leaned her back against the counter. “Can we talk about why you raised your hand? Why you would have left us tonight?”
Burke rubbed his hand over her shoulder. “I was pretty sure Shepherd wouldn’t select me for the mission because you were in town. Just as I would have been shocked if he had sent Michael, given that he’s just coming back on active since the birth of his son. But even if I thought there was a high chance I’d be deployed, I would have volunteered. It’s my job, Donna.”
“It’s your job to volunteer when you’re officially off work?” She tried to keep her voice neutral, to sound as if she were just asking the question and that she wasn’t upset by it.
“We were all officially off work. Eight people were needed to volunteer for the mission. Eight people’s holidays were getting fucked up. In case you didn’t notice, everyone who was qualified for the mission raised their hand. As I told you, if Shepherd accepted a mission, someone was really in trouble, most likely life-threatening trouble. Helping people, that’s what we do.”
“I understand that. I just don’t understand why, just this once, with us in town, why you couldn’t let someone else go,” she said.
“I’m sorry that disappointed you,” he said, watching her closely.
“Yes, I was disappointed that you didn’t care if you went away tonight.”
“I do care. I would have cared. I would have missed seeing the kids tomorrow morning and their excitement that Santa came. I also know that if our team didn’t go on that mission tonight, someone, somewhere would probably never be going home, maybe even a child.”
“I guess I don’t really understand the world you work in. I can’t fathom…” her voice trailed off as she considered what he’d said.
“Fathom what?” he asked after a few moments when she hadn’t finished that thought.
“You know, my dad was a cop.”
Of course, he knew that. He also knew her father had died on the job. He nodded.
“I’m sure he went on call-outs where he knew someone’s life was in danger and that his life would be too, just by doing his job. I know that he knew the evil out there, and the dangers ordinary people face. I guess I’ve just had the luxury of not having to think about it. I can’t fathom someone being in danger and that if your team didn’t go on Christmas Eve, they could die. I guess that is as serious as something gets.”
“I’m glad you haven’t had to live in that world, Donna. And I’m sorry a relationship with me draws you into it. Last Thanksgiving, when that man attacked your sister, that wasn’t a one-off. That’s the kind of thing we deal with on a regular basis doing this job. The world has people in it who have no regard forhuman life, who operate illegally, who don’t care about society’s rules or basic decency. It’s very real.”
She leaned into him and dropped her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t understand. I do now. Can we forget that I got upset? I don’t want there to be any friction between us.”
“There isn’t,” he said.
