Rae chuckled. “No, it’s not a competition. Me and the job are two separate aspects of Jimmy’s life. That’s how you have to think of it. You’ve been on your own with your kids. I’d assume you don’t need a man, don’t need Rich in your life.”
“No, but I want him in it,” Donna argued.
“Yes, but you and your family run just fine without him in it. But it runs better with him in it. And that’s how you have to approach it. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I think so,” Donna said. “I just can’t help but think that makes him a guest in your life.”
“No. This is Jimmy’s home, and we’re a family. We’re his safe and normal away from work. I love him, and he’s a part of my life. I just can’t allow him to be my everything. And while he’s gone, I send him pictures and videos of what he’s missing. We talk, text, video chat, and do all we can to share life as it’s playing out, so it doesn’t feel as though he’s missing anything. I’d rather have the limited time with him than not have him at all.”
“And the danger he’s in when working? You said you just accepted it.”
“Yes. You have to be able to, or it will drive you crazy. And I don’t dwell on it when he’s at work. They work on a variety of cases with a wide range of risk levels. When he’s away, I usually don’t know what he’s working on or where until he’s home.”
“Do you worry?”
“I’d be lying if I said no, but I tuck it away and don’t dwell on it. I try to have faith that Shepherd has all possibilities covered and enough people staffed to reduce the risk of each job.”
Donna wasn’t sure how she felt about what Rae had shared. It sounded to her as though Rae’s life with Jimmy was about the same as hers had been with Rich over the last year, and besides seeing him more frequently because she’d be living near his job, she wasn’t sure what would be different.
“The only thing I can think of that I haven’t told you is because of the job they do and the time away; when we are together, it’s all the more special. Nothing is taken for granted. No time that we have together is wasted. We love hard and with meaning. We don’t fight about anything trivial, and nothing important goes unsaid between us,” Rae said.
“Wow,” slipped from Donna’s lips.
Rae chuckled. “Yeah, wow. It’s true.”
“Thank you for talking so openly,” Donna said.
“Rich told Jimmy he wasn’t sure you could handle the job, and he didn’t want to hurt you. I don’t think he understands that someone has to be in this situation before it can be determined if they can handle it or not. And I think he also forgot that you’d have the other girlfriends and wives to help you handle it. Just like the guys take care of each other, so do we,” Rae said.
Donna smiled, and for the first time felt a calmness about his job and their future wash through her.
Victor
When they left Wilson’s place, Burke drove past the preschool and elementary school Lilly and the other children went to. Then he drove by the houses owned by Cooper and Lambchop.
“These homes are beautiful, but we don’t need anything this big, especially if my mom doesn’t move in. Really, Rich, a townhouse like Jimmy and Rae’s would do us fine. Theirs is a three-bedroom, which would be big enough. It has a basement which we could turn into a family room and playroom for the kids.”
“I still think her moving in is the best plan, for her, you, and the kids.”
“I will get a job and contribute, Rich,” she said.
He pulled to the side of the road and put the car in park. He faced her and took her hand. “Work, don’t work, whatever you want to do, Donna. There is one more thing we haven’t talked about. You know I love your kids, but I’ve always thought I’d have one or two of my own. Are you open to having another with me?” He couldn’t read the expression on her face. “I mean, whenever you’re ready to, not necessarily right away.”
“I haven’t really thought about it, but my initial reaction is that I’m not opposed to it. But I want to wait a little bit. I want time with you before we take that step. I want to do things differently with you than I have in the past, if that makes sense.”
“It does,” he agreed. “I just wanted to know if it was a possibility.”
She nodded. “It is.” Though she really hadn’t thought about it. Making a decent life for herself and her children was all she could do over the past few years. Considering more children had never been on her radar.
“Okay,” he said, shifting into drive and pulling away from the curb.
He turned onto the next street, knowing it led back to the main road that would bring them back towards the place where they were staying. Halfway down the block was an ‘Open House’ sign in front of a home with a ‘For Sale’ sign. Coming up to it, he could see how deep it went on the lot. It was a big house. It was a tri-level, and he knew the bottom section might be large enough to convert into a mother-in-law area if the majority of the bedrooms were above it.
Burke pulled into the driveway. He turned to face her again. “Let’s go in and take a look.”
“Rich, this house looks huge.” She gazed out the front window at it.
“Come on, it’ll be fun,” he prodded her.
