“You’re visiting now.”
“Family that never even texts.”
“Not true. We do birthdays and Christmas.”
“Yay, twice a year.” Although atleastsomeoneremembers my birthday. “We’re pretty useless, aren’t we?”
He chuckles, then answers seriously. “We’re busy people, living a three-hour flight apart, and we’re not children anymore.”
True enough. Still, I need to get better at keeping in touch with people.
Yeah, you do. But you won’t.
Also true.
“So what’s the answer?” he asks, into the silence that we’ve let fall.
“Still fine.”
“Not that one. I know you’re not fine. Theotherone. How long?”
I watch the scenery out of the window. “Until you get sick of me, I guess.”
“That bad, huh?”
I squirm in my seat in embarrassment, and it reminds me that my ass is bruised.
And the worst part is I don’t even know how bad it is. Maybe it’s not bad at all. Maybe I’m just being a coward.
After all, I amengagedto the man. Was.
Yet ring or no ring, he gave me lots of orgasms then cuddled me in bed.
The orgasms were spectacular, for what it's worth. I'm not sure it's worth much.
And I walked out.
I wonder if the problem is me, not him.
“I don’t know,” I say at last. “Maybe not that bad, maybe it’s terrible.”
“Oh.” He leaves it at that for a long moment, and we pass several cars on the interstate before he adds more. “Then at least it’s notboring. Right?”
I laugh, despite myself, and am surprised by how naturally it comes. “No. It’s not boring.”
It used to be. Alex either abandons me or pins me down and fucks me.
Where’s the normal middle-ground that most people have?
They don’t have an Alex.
Yep. That’s the truth, right there. And the problem.
I want the Alex that held me last night. I don't want the Alex that will inevitably hurt me. The trouble is, they're the same person.
Twenty minutes of stilted banter later, we reach Chris’s house. It’s a nice-looking three-bed that I’ve been to a handful of times, and it hasn’t changed over the years. Save that the tricycle on the driveway has gone, replaced by a basketball hoop.
“How old are Matt and Susie now? Nine and six?”
