“It’s going to break your heart and restore your faith in humanity at the same time,” Red tells me. “I always hold Isabella a little tighter on the days I’m there.”
“How long have you been going?”
“Ever since the twins joined the club,” she says. “I don’t know if you know this, but they themselves were born with Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome, so this is a cause that they’ve been championing.”
“I had no idea,” I breathe.
The arrival of a gym regular draws Red’s attention from me again, and it gives me some time to process the news. I remember Bev telling me that the twins were children of addicts, but my God, this?
I'm overcome with an irrational worry that I’ve said or done something that might have hurt their feelings.
When I look up from the email I’ve been replying to, I see Hawk standing in front of me with a warm smile on his face.
“Ready to go?” He asks me.
I smile back, but not too enthusiastically. Ever since what happened to Lucy, I’ve been extra careful not to look like the smitten idiot that I am.
“I’ll go and change out of this gym shirt,” I tell him.
At the nurses’ station, a tall young doctor walks up to us and shakes hands with Hawk before introducing himself to me.
“Hi, you must be Ms. Johnson. I’m Doctor Cole Williams. I’ll be walking you through your orientation today while Hawk is in the NICU.”
His eyes are an unusual shade of green, and I keep stealing glances at him as he explains infection control measures, safety protocols, and cues to monitor during my shifts.
An hour goes by before I know it. The way Doctor Williams talks is conversational and easy to understand. He’s patient and never assumes I already know things.
I swear his face lights up when I mention I’m a single mom.
“My mom was on her own when I came along. She later met my stepdad, who helped raise me and who I consider my father, but single moms, wow. I have all the respect in the world for what you are capable of.”
My face warms. “I’ve never seen a more enthusiastic reaction to my situation.”
Dr. Williams laughs. “You should spend more time around me, then.”
I’ve almost forgotten how to do this, but I manage to return his smile and say, “Maybe,” in just the right non-committally flirty tone.
“Would you like to meet up for a cup of coffee sometimes?” He asks later, leading me back to the reception area, where Hawk is waiting for us.
The stupid somersault my idiot heart does at the sight of my colleague/roommate convinces me to say, “Sure.”
I love the club. I like being Hawk’s friend. I need to be level-headed about my situation instead of nursing this hopeless crush and potentially ruining a good thing.
“Okay, great,” Dr. Williams exclaims.
“What is?” Hawk inquires, his eyes cautiously darting between the two of us as the Doctor reaches for his notepad.
“Here’s my number. Please text me when you’re in the mood for that coffee.”
I feel like I’m committing a massive betrayal as I fold the paper and put it in the tiny pocket on the side of my athletic leggings.
“Will do. Thanks, Doctor Williams.”
“Please, call me Cole,” he says with a wink. “See you soon.”
Neither of us speaks much on the ride back. The tension radiating from Hawk’s body makes my face itchy, but I don’t move.
I know he asked me not to bring men to his place. That’s probably what he’s worried about.
