I obey and instinctively tilt my head back a little, seeking his closeness. His belt buckle brushes against my head, and I feel a zap in my belly.
My eyes fly open, and I scan the room, trying to see if anyone is looking at me, but they’re all focused on the absolute carnage on the screen.
I, on the other hand, couldn’t care less.
The only thing I’m aware of is Hawk's closeness. I experience the ghost of a touch on the nape of my neck, and my nipples strain against my bra.
I close my eyes again and let myself believe that Hawk couldn’t help himself, so he ran a finger down my neck.
I am horrified by how inappropriate I am being. I dig my nails into the pad of my thumb for the rest of the meeting.
I blink a few times to dispel the memory and focus on the menu instead.
“Are you attending any of the rides next week?” I ask the girls after we order.
Lucy shakes her head. “Only the breast cancer ride on Saturday. I’m riding with Miguel, since we’re having lunch with our parents that day anyway.“
“That’s nice.”
“You don’t know my parents, so I’m sure it seems that way,” Lucy retorts bitterly.
“I’m going to most,” Mushroom says. “Some for work, some for pleasure.”
I now know that most of her assignments are confidential, so I turn back to Lucy. “How’s everything at work? Has Hammer forgiven me?”
She makes a face like Hammer is being unreasonable. “He’ll live. He’s completed court-mandated anger management, although you wouldn’t be able to tell from the scene he made last week. That makes him sound awful,” she adds with a frown.
“Hawk told me a bit about Hammer’s past, and I don’t blame him,” I reassure her.
“I’ve known Frank since high school. He always idealized Erica, put her on a pedestal. However, it’s been five years. If he’d justaccept that the life he imagined was gone, maybe he could start to heal.”
“That’s easy for us to say, don’t you think?” I ask carefully. “That's one of the hardest things to do.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Lucy says, raising her eyebrows at me. “I thought if I married a doctor, my parents would magically forgive me for not being smart enough to be one like my brother. Eight years and two kids later, I had to say goodbye to that silly dream. Many of us had to, and yet, we didn’t go throwing shit around or making our heartbreak our whole identity.”
“What Lucy is trying to say,” Mushroom chimes in helpfully, “is that Hammer should finally open his eyes and move on with her instead of still turning into the Hulk whenever someone mentions his cheating whore ex.”
Lucy’s entire face is red. She looks like she’s about to give Shroomie a tongue lashing, but luckily, Hawk and Kate enter the diner and start walking towards our table.
Their arms brush against each other as they walk, and I feel a sharp stab in my chest.
Are the two of them a thing? I never noticed anything at the office.
I try to keep my face neutral as we all say our hellos.
Hawk puts his hand on the back of my chair and gives me a warm smile. “How was your day? How was court?”
The three women are shamelessly staring at us.
“It was okay. We went shopping afterwards,” I say rather stupidly.
“Did you get anything for yourself?” He talks quieter than usual, and I find myself leaning in.
“I did.”
“Good.” He nods, leaning even closer.
I take a deep breath, soothing myself with his perfume.
