“That’s wonderful,” I say as I swallow down the envy I feel.
Yes, I admire them, and they’re exactly the type of parents I look up to, but some resentful voice inside me says, it must be nice to be able to build your kid a gated community.
I clutch DJ closer to me.
Hawk seems oblivious to my inner turmoil. “Let’s go inside, and then you guys can do your own thing while I unload the car.”
I nod gratefully, not offering to help this time. I think of the money Susan gave me, and it makes me feel a bit better.
Hawk seems excited as he leads us through the beautiful wooden door.
As he disables a security alarm, Hawk tells me, “Later, I’m gonna show you how to disable or set all of the alarms.”
I take a moment to marvel at the fact that I’m gonna be living with this man. It still doesn’t feel real. I was hesitant at first because I didn’t want to impose or burden him, but as soon as his insistence showed me that he truly wanted this, I accepted. Being around Hawk is like a balm for my nerves, which have been on edge ever since New Year’s Eve.
Hawk takes off his shoes and puts on a pair of comfortable-looking house shoes. When he notices that I’m toeing my sneakers off, he says, “You don’t have to take yours off.”
“I was going to take them off in my room regardless,” I admit. “Now that DJ’s crawling, I’m paranoid about floor cleanliness.”
“That’s perfect, then.”
I make a mental note to get a baby gate for the big staircase, before catching myself. It’s not like DJ is going to grow up in this house. I need to treat this as a temporary solution, like we’re in a hotel, and not make any permanent changes to Hawk’s space.
This house wouldn’t be out of place in one of those magazines about celebrity homes that I sometimes leaf through while waiting in line at the grocery store checkout:
The gorgeous tile flooring in the hallway gives way to dark hardwood as we pass through the first arched doorway. In the living room, a massive, carved-wood coffee table holds center stage. If you sit down on the large, inviting couch and put your feet up on the table to watch the flat-screen TV that’s mounted high on the white wall, on your right, there’s a wood fireplace mantle, and on your left, two wide, brown leather armchairs that look like they can easily seat two people each.
“All the food in the fridge, freezer, and pantry is fair game,” Hawk rouses me from my thoughts. “I don’t want you asking me to use things or telling me you ate something. The magneticboard on the fridge is for writing down when we’re out of stuff or low on essentials, so we can get it on the next grocery run.”
He closes the pantry door. “Also, feel free to write down anything lil’ man here may need, or throw it in the cart next time we’re at the store.”
I’m determined to get my own groceries, but I nod and pretend to agree. He narrows his eyes at me.
“What?” I feign confusion.
“I’ve had hours and hours of training to detect deception and evasion.”
I’ll give him evasion, then. I leave the laundry room without waiting for him and pass through the arched glass doors in the kitchen out onto the covered patio in the courtyard.
“How do you keep all these windows so clean?”
“I have a cleaning lady, Marla, who comes in once a week, on Friday mornings. If you don’t want her to touch your room, simply leave the door closed.”
“Oh. I can clean while I’m here.”
“No,” he says firmly. “You have enough going on with DJ and work.”
I press my lips together and examine the little oasis in front of me. Flagstone on the patio, and gravel paths through the yard. A fountain with birds drinking from it. A mesquite tree with gnarled limbs and trunk, two olive trees, and a creosote bush with bees buzzing around it. Various other plants that I do not know the names of.
“This is beautiful.”
He nods as he looks over his little kingdom. “I was debating getting a pool for the longest time. Now that DJ’s here, I’m glad I didn’t.”
I remember what happened to his sister, and I want to put my hand on his arm.
“Still, let’s sign him up for swimming lessons as soon as possible.”
“Sure, good idea,” I reply, distracted by the warmth spreading through my limbs.
