“Call me later, okay?”
“’Kay. Bye.”
I sit on the bed and stare off through the wall into another parallel life that I could have had, until my wife comes upstairs and tells me it’s time to go to work.
I feel off for the rest of the day, and I categorically refuse to think about why that is.
Chapter 28
Marissa
When Mushroom picks me up for girls’ night, Hawk shoots me a conspiratorial smile as he walks me out.
“There’s milk in the fridge, take it with you,” he says against my lips after he kisses me goodbye.
I give him a confused look, and he laughs. “I know Mushroom; the food in those takeout bags is spicy as hell.”
As we walk towards the clubhouse, she attempts to sound casual as she asks, “So… How was your first day working with Cotton?”
I think back to the almost otherworldly morning I spent in his workshop. The light of the giant windows behind Cotton’s tall, wiry frame made the millions of tiny wood particles floating around him as he worked look like magical fairy dust.
“It was quiet,” I tell her honestly. “Don’t get me wrong, the man’s a genius artist, that much is clear, but I think you were right when you told me he was a loner.”
“I bet he wasn’t like that with Cordelia, the love of his life.”
She says the last words like they’re bitter and she can’t wait to spit them out.
My curiosity is piqued. “Where is this Cordelia now?”
“She overdosed and died,” Shroomie whispers.
I stop in my tracks, and so does she. This somehow never came up in her previous monologues on the man, although she did tell me a lot about his past with heroin.
“His rich mommy and daddy paid for this fancy art-focused rehab center, and yeah, nowadays he’s clean and working, and he’s great at what he does, but he’s… Not here. He’s closed off in some mental mausoleum to Cordelia, blaming himself, determined never to get close to anyone else ever again.”
We’re both silent for a while, and then I tell her, “That’s a hard man to love.”
Mushroom laughs like she was caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “You think I don’t know that?”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Shroomie. I mean, you’ve seen what happened to Lucy. I know he’s nothing like Hammer,” I say when I see she’s about to protest. “But the question still remains, how long are you prepared to wait?”
We stand in front of the clubhouse in silence for a few beats.
“I wish I knew.”
“Is Dana coming?” I ask Lucy as I’m helping her plate the food.
She purses her lips and twists them to the side. “I don’t think so. I… I think my brother has a thing for Dana,” she whispers, glancing between my face and the door the whole time. “And I don’t think that Red is ready for this little enmeshed denial party that she and Miguel have going on to end.”
“I thought they were just being civil and friendly for Isabella,” I whisper back.
“That’s what they claim, but I don’t think that’s the full truth, at least not for Red.”
“Oh, no. Are Dana and Doc dating?”
Lucy shakes her head as she finishes up the last plate. “The glasses are up there,” she indicates with her chin, and I turn to get them. “I think Miguel wants to ask her out and, the idiot he is, he asked Meg and me what we thought.”
“Yikes.”
