And yet, we continue standing there with the goofiest grins on our faces. When Hawk steps towards me again, I lick my lips in anticipation, but he glides two fingers inside my pocket and pulls Cole’s phone number out.
“I guess you won’t be needing this anymore,” he says and opens the front door.
I guess not.
Chapter 24
Marissa
After brushing my teeth the next morning, I briefly debate opening the window and screaming for all Rat Park to hear, “Hawk and I kissed last night!!!!”
But I don’t.
Instead, I whisper to my son, “I think this is the start of something significant. You like Hawk, don’t you?”
DJ nods like he understands everything, and we whisper and giggle our way downstairs. All the elation drains from my body when I spot a tired, unshaven Hawk sitting at the kitchen table.
“Good morning,” I say as my heart thumps against my ribcage, screaming, Danger! Danger!
“Marissa,” Hawk says hoarsely. “You’re up.”
I nod weakly, then make my way towards DJ’s high chair.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“Sure,” I say, desperate to appear casual. “What’s up?”
Unaware that our world is about to come crashing down, DJ happily waves his little legs as I buckle him in.
“Last night…”
I sink into the chair closest to me as my legs go numb. I lean an elbow on the table for stability.
“It was a mistake,” Hawk continues cruelly. “I was vulnerable after spending time with the babies and… It’s a bad idea, you and me.”
“Oh.” That’s all I manage before having to bite the inside of my cheek.
No crying, I tell myself. Don’t you dare cry!
“We’re in different places in life. I’m sure you agree. But seeing as we crossed a line last night, I think it would be best if you and DJ found other living arrangements.”
Someone starts knocking on the front door, and it makes DJ cry. The room is suddenly very hot.
Hawk is still talking, but all I hear is the persistent knocking and DJ’s wails.
I look down at my hands. Why am I shaking this much?
“Marissa! Marissa!”
I open my eyes to Hawk frantically shaking me. I’m in my bed, and poor DJ is screaming his head off in his crib.
I quickly sit up, but it’s a mistake. The whole room tilts.
My muscles are spasming, and my teeth are clicking against each other.
Hawk doesn’t take his eyes off me as he rescues DJ from his baby prison.
“Sorry that I came into your room without permission, but DJ wouldn’t stop crying, and I was worried ’cause I couldn’t hear you soothing him like you usually do. Besides, it’s almost 9. I didn’t know what to do.”
