And he’d missed it, dumb useless bastard that he was, cooped up by Sigma and forgetting—however temporarily—that she even existed.
They’d left Cheyenne early that morning and were now in the lower end of the Black Hills.The scenery was grand, but Cath snorted when Rowan remarked wistfully that she’d always wanted to see Mount Rushmore.Delgado pushed down the urge to strangle the girl, who had slid most of her metal jewelry back on—nose rings, tongue stud, the earrings marching up each ear, the hoop in her eyebrow—and correspondingly started acting the disdainful teenager instead of seasoned Society operative.Late-summer wind poured through the open windows, and the windshield was peppered with murdered insects.
I’ve never liked South Dakota.Delgado returned to studying the curve of Rowan’s neck, the slope of her shoulder.Looking at her made the persistent burning need for Zed fade a bit.
Thinking about touching her made a different kind of pain worse.The kind he hadn’t realized he was feeling for months, a gnawing emptiness inside his chest.He wanted to reach, cup his hand over her nape, and whisper something in her ear—anything to erase that solemn frown as she stared unseeing at the map.Were those glitters in her eyes?Big, fat, shining tears?
Oh, Christ.He leaned forward, unable to help himself.“Rowan?You okay?”
She flinched, as if he’d tried to touch her.“Fine.”Then she turned to look out her window, so he could see nothing but the back of her head.He’d chosen the driver’s side in the back in order to stare at her profile, and was now denied even that.“It’s just dusty, that’s all.”
“Is your leg hurting?”Cath, now concerned.For all her brash impoliteness, she seemed to sometimes care how the other woman was feeling.
“No, it’s almost healed up.The worst is over.”Was there a telltale hitch in her voice?Did she sound a little choked?“Are we stopping in Pierre?”
“Maybe just outside, for a snack.You hungry?”Cath sounded hopeful.Of course, she’d been stuffing herself with junk food the entire trip, if Del guessed right.Nutritiondid not seem to be a word in her vocabulary.It was a wonder how she stayed rail-thin with all the calories and preservatives swallowed.
“A little.Jus—ah, Delgado?Are you hungry?”Rowan had to half-shout to be heard over the rush of wind.
The name hit him like a sucker punch to the gut.
Not Justin.Delgado.What the rest of them used.
She’s changed her mind.Doesn’t want anything to do with me.What am I anyway, but a junked-out Sig?She’s probably already dating someone else, if she has time.God knows there were plenty at Headquarters who would have jumped at the chance.
His heart burned.It felt like a goddamn cardiac arrest.The road slipped smoothly under the Subaru’s tires, pavement singing and engine purring.Sunlight fell thick and liquid across the dash, tingled in Rowan’s hair, picked out the crisp whiteness of a button-down shirt, worn open over a tank top.They were supposed to be tourists, just another car with Georgia plates.A man traveling with two pretty women, maybe a wife and a niece.
Stop it.Goddammit, stop.If there was one thing he couldn’t afford right now, it was fantasy.She didn’t want anything to do with him.
“Not hungry,” he said.It was only half true—the withdrawal was killing any hunger pangs he might be feeling, and he wouldn’t want food anyway.The only thing he needed was to be near her.“Better stop anyway, to take a look at that wound.”
“I’mfine,” Rowan protested.
“It’ll slow us down,” he answered harshly, hating himself.“Another fifty miles or so, Cath.We’ll stop for a late lunch, early dinner.”
“You got it.”Cath had no problem with taking direction from him.Old habits die hard,he thought, and didn’t miss the flash of irritation, like a bright dart of sunshine, from Rowan.
Too bad, angel.The stubborn endurance that had carried him through the last few months of hell rose up now, bright and hot.Sigma hadn’t broken him.They’d just hooked him on Zed and beaten him a little.He could take that.
He’d broken a Zed habit once and could do it again—especially if this pale-haired angel let him stay nearby.He didn’t ask for much, just to watch over her while the Society rebuilt itself.
Del, you’re a fucking fool.Just look at her.And you can’t get rid of a Zed habit by yourself again.It nearly killed you last time.
Remembering almost made him shudder—beating his head against a wall until the skin broke and bled, hours spent at the heavy bag pounding away the furious frustrating weakness and agony, prowling the halls of Headquarters because he couldn’t sleep with his skin feeling like red-hot ants swarming—butshecould cure him.
He remembered the first time she’d done it, cured a woman they’d rescued from a Sig installation already moaning and eye-rolling when found.It had taken Rowan awhile, sure—but she’d somehow treated a Zed addiction without a system flush plus detox and the implied risk of cardiac arrest for the victim.
The thought of how close it had been intensified a wash of cold sweat.If Jilssen had found out, if Del hadn’tpushedhimself to forget, Sigma might have gone to even greater lengths to acquire her.She was a high-priority target anyway, but if they found out what she could do, it was likely to become capture-or-kill, no price too high and no mandate too broad to bring her in.
Or neutralize her.
If that happened, she would need him.Need an operative who knew every dirty trick Sigma could pull, because he’d been one of them.
Del touched the small bag nestled against his hip.Inside, the last hypo was cupped in antishock foam, just waiting to detonate inside his head, wipe out the burning in all his nerve channels.It was only going to get worse.Withdrawal was no picnic.
I’ve got to ditch this,he realized, with a sinking sensation.He settled himself to wait for the next stop, heart hammering and sweat increasingly sour.The voice of self-preservation shrilled inside his head, but he paid no attention.
One way or another, he was going to keep Rowan Price alive and free.If she didn’t like him, that might actually be better.The kind of man she’d feel proud of wouldn’t do half of what Del was prepared to do if Sigma didn’t leave her alone.
