Her closet held several different pairs of scrubs, some dress shirts, slacks, a few business suits.No dresses, and no heels, either.Her shoes were serviceable nurse-shoes, sneakers, sandals, and one pair of engineer boots that had seen heavy use.Boxes in the back of her closet were labeled:Estate, Bills, Taxes, Personal, Photos,andDiaries.
He ached to open up the “Diaries” box or the one labeled “Personal,” but he didn’t have time.She could come back at any moment.Zeke might not be able to call and warn him.
However, the “Diaries” box gave him a clue.A few moments of searching found a red Miquelruis notebook in the drawer of her nightstand.He stood, his feet placed carefully on either side of her fuzzy pink slippers dropped carelessly next to the bed, and opened the book, feeling a twinge of conscience that he hadn’t felt in years.I have to know,he told himself.So I can keep her safe.
Her writing was firm and clear, beautiful just like the rest of her.He scanned through accounts of days spent on a psych ward, patients identified only by first initials, fellow nurses given titles like “Sourface” and “Sleepy,” and wondered if Rowan had any idea how desperate she sounded.
—managed to calm him down, but not before Head Hatchet yelled at him to stop being such a baby, which just made it worse.The woman has no compassion, she could see he was suffering, she just wanted to get to lunch.I did, too, but I couldn’t have eaten anything if I hadn’t made sure he was okay.He just wants to feel like someone’s listening, they all do.Why is that so hard for people to understand?
—guess I am going crazy.If I didn’t know I was mostly sane and that it’s a repetitious objective phenomenon I would sign myself in.But it seems to work, so I just keep waiting for the day everything comes crashing down.Making no sense.Don’t have to make sense here, it’s just my rambleramble.
—The thing I can’t understand is, if Dad’s right and these “feelings” are real, which they seem to be, why can’t everyone have them?I just want to be normal.Please God, make me normal.
Written in capitals, underlined, taking up a whole page:
—DON’T THINK OF UNPLEASANT THINGS.
Good luck with that, he thought.
—Hilary tried to fix me up with another one of her “friends” tonight.Disaster.He looked like a snake and acted like one, too, swallowing his chicken cordon bleu whole and yapping about his ex-girlfriend the weightlifter?—
Delgado’s breast pocket vibrated, startling him.He closed the diary, placed it precisely back, and then closed the drawer.There were a few other items in there—tissues, a battered romance novel with a ripped cover, a small bottle of sleeping pills—that would bear further examination later if he had time.
“Delgado,” he said into the phone.
“You want the bad news or the bad news?”Henderson said.
“Christ, you mean I’ve got a choice?”
“Sigma’s in town.Looks like the telem leakage brought them.”
“Fuck.”Del’s stomach flipped.He forced it down.
“Yeah.They’re doing sweeps.Haven’t found a goddamn thing yet, but it’s a matter of time before they trace us to that house.And once they’re in the neighborhood?—”
“They’ll find her.”Delgado crossed to the window and looked out.Her window looked south onto the back yard, sunlight making a rectangle on the hardwood floor, filmy white drapes on either side.“Goddammit.”
“How powerful is she, Del?”
“Too powerful to let Sigma get their claws in.You know what they do to the strong ones.But this one’s fragile, General.Doesn’t even know what she is.Thinks she might be crazy.”
“How soon can you bring her in?”
“Depends on her.Don’t want to spook her.”
There was a long, crackling silence.Delgado had never said anything even remotely like this to the old man about a potential.“Are you personally involved with this one, Del?”
“I guess so,” he answered.“I don’t know why.Just instinct, maybe.”
“Be careful.But if it comes down to it, bring her in kicking and screaming.”
Relieved, Delgado let out a short breath.“You got it.What’s the bad news?”
“I still haven’t ironed out that bug yet,” the General said heavily.“And Blake’s team lost another operative.”
“Fuck.”That made the second in two months.Sigma was hunting them down like dogs.
“Yeah.Look, I’ve got to go put out a few fires.Can you spare Zeke?I need manpower.”
