“You going to Central?”
“Um-hmmm,” she managed.If he leans down just a little… The memory of that other kiss burned through her.“Did Henderson want one of these back?”
He kissed her cheek, just a gentle press of lips.Rowan’s breath became shallow, and her pulse raced.It was a sweet fear, better than the clinging, painful panic of facing Jilssen.
“No, I lied.You all right?”he asked.
“I guess.”She sounded whispery, couldn’t quite make her voice work.He lied?Why?Because I looked upset, or…Oh, God, could Jilssen tell what I was feeling?No, he’s normal.A deadhead, Brew would say.
“Let’s go to Central.Then I’m free for the rest of the evening.Have dinner with me?”
It sounded unexpectedly intimate, though they usually both stole the same meal and coffee breaks.“Of course,” she said, automatically.She’d spent more time with him than anyone except her father, and it felt just as natural.
For a fleeting moment, his eyes weren’t flat—they were warm and deep.Then his face closed with an almost audible snap.“I’ll find out what’s going on, Rowan.I promise.”His fingers trailed down her cheek, and he slowly, reluctantly, peeled his fingertips away.
“I know you will,” she said, struggling for a normal voice.“I just… I wonder if I’m jumping at shadows.A person can only handle so much trauma before they start to unwind.”
“Don’t worry, you’re perfectly rational.”He punched the button for the transport, moving with that quick, eerie grace.“And you’re stronger than you think.”
It took a few moments for his words to sink in, and Rowan didn’t answer him.That’s what I’m afraid of,she thought.
And tried to shove the idea away.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-THREE
The soundsof her moving around the bathroom was familiar by now, so Justin dismissed them.He sat cross-legged on the floor, spine straight, attention centered and focused.He needed it badly.
What exactly are you thinking?
He didn’t know.He only knew Rowan didn’t like Jilssen.
Had exactly the same reaction to Jilssen as she did to Sigs.She’d been paper-pale, her eyes huge; the same look she’d worn when he brought her in.Vibrating with terror, hanging on by a thread.
The urge to hold her had been overwhelming.And the thought that perhaps the Society had been infiltrated was chilling.
It’s not possible.She’s just high-strung, that’s all.Time for you to quit screwing around, Delgado.
He sought stillness, the calm center of himself that had never been broken.It was present, all right.
It was always there.
The trouble was, Rowan was there as well, even in the intensely private space of meditation.The room was dark; he hadn’t bothered to turn the light on and dusk had already crept through the corners.
Use your logic.She doesn’t like Jilssen, associates him with the same feeling as the Sigs.That doesn’t mean he’s anything other than a nasty old man who wants to shove her in a telem rig and take samples.
But if that was the case, why on earth would Rowan feel so afraid?Terrifiedwas the only word that applied.She’d been unusually quiet during dinner, but that could have been because Cath and Zeke had descended on them, and Cath’s chattering damn near filled the air.Then Yoshi had shown up, and Del had been absorbed in turning over the problem of Jilssen plus the sequences Yoshi had brought him.
A nice leisurely dinner with his angel, shot all to hell.
He heard her humming, tried to place the tune and couldn’t.The sound was too muffled.
He would start prowling, making little inquiries.He’d have to be careful—if anyone suspected he was researching Jilssen, word might get to the man, spook him.Besides, it wouldn’t look good if Henderson’s right hand started nosing around the doctor that had been with the Society almost from the beginning.It would make trouble for the General, and trouble for her as well.
If Del got called onto the carpet for it, Rowan might be left unprotected.
She opened the bathroom door, flicking the light out.He sighed, opening his eyes.There was nothing but a bunch of suppositions.But those suppositions were based on Rowan’s talent and instinct—both things he had a healthy respect for.
“You sound happy,” he murmured.
