A chorus of yeses follows while Karl lifts a bundle of paper from the table behind him and starts to hand them around.
‘Here are the lyrics. We don’t do sheet music here – I’m going to assume that most if not all of you are familiar with the song. But just in the unlikely event that you aren’t, let’s have a listen first of all.’
Karl scrolls at his phone, hits play and the opening bars of Ms Houston’s biggest hit start to sound out through a Bluetooth speaker. Laura can’t help it – as much as she might want to. She finds herself nodding her head and bopping a little in her seat. Deirdre, who is sitting beside her, starts to sing. Other voices are joining in and it feels a little like one of those flash mob things. Secretly, Laura has always fancied taking part in a flash mob even though Robyn thinks they are cringey and Aidan would most likely have a stroke at the very notion. She and Kitty had talked about maybe doing one someday, trying to raise some money for the Foyle Hospice perhaps, but it had never happened – and not just because neither woman could sing very well.
It surprises Laura that the voices around her already sound so in tune with the song. She is sure she can hear some show-offs trying out their own harmonies and riffs, meanwhile she is feeling the urge to start singing, but her voice feels stuck in her throat. Singing in front of other people isn’t something she does. Apart from Kitty. And Kitty isn’t here. She feels strangely vulnerable, and emotional, at the very thought of it. As if she would be exposing a part of herself that others might not want to see.
Closing her eyes, once again she feels as if she can hear her mother, as if she is sitting beside her and taking her hand gently. ‘I don’t want to sound all preachy or like some sort of righteous ghost, but seriously, child. Be not afraid. Just look what you’ve done this week. You’ve gone to uni. You walked in there and youregistered, and you made friends and you spoke up in a lecture. Don’t think I didn’t see that! And you made a stand last night with Aidan.’
That didn’t exactly end well, Mum, she thinks, playing out this conversation in her head as if it were real while Whitney sings about wanting to get hot and steamy on the dancefloor with someone. Laura thinks she wouldn’t really mind enjoying some of what Whitney’s after either – it’s been a while. However, she pushes this thought out of her mind very quickly for fear her dead mother might get a sneak peek into her most private thoughts.
‘I don’t think it’s ended yet,’ she hears Kitty say. ‘You’re just finding yourself, my love. You’ll get there. Keep the faith and believe in yourself!’
Laura is about to tell the ghost in her mind that it’s not that easy when she feels Deirdre nudge her gently in the ribs. ‘C’mon, Laura,’ she says. ‘You have to join in for the bridge!’
Taking a deep breath, she decides to adopt a ‘stuff it’ approach and allows herself to sing along, quietly at first of course. And when she looks across the front row to her friends, disregarding whatever state their friendship might currently be in, she sees that they too are swaying a little, singing and most of all looking as if they are enjoying themselves.
Maybe, she thinks, it’s time to give herself permission to enjoy herself as well. Her own voice seems to be increasing in volume, slowly but surely, as are the other voices around her.
Karl, of the perfectly pressed shirt and perfectly shaped eyebrows, is grinning from the front of the room, conducting with his arms to keep time with the music. The musty, fusty church hall comes alive with the sound of the eighties pop classic and Laura savours the feeling of being a part ofsomething, connected to all these other people just through their voices.
By the time the song ends, she has realised it wouldn’t really be that much of a stretch to get up and have a little bop along after all. Maybe her mother was right and she just had to put aside her fear and allow some joy into her life. Hadn’t she felt it yesterday when she was bopping to Carole King in her living room? Hadn’t she felt it when she was in her lecture with Dr Dunphy thinking just how lucky she was to be in that space learning about something that really, really ignited her inner passion? Even here with the Fabulous Forties ladies, small in number as they may be just now. Isn’t she lucky to have the chance to connect with women of a similar age who just get it? Women who don’t roll their eyes when she mentions a hot flush, or get frustrated when brain fog takes a word from her mind and she stands open-mouthed for a bit waiting for her brain to catch up. Women who want to dance with somebody and that somebody being her.
To her shock, she feels tears prick at her eyes, but it’s not sadness that is washing over her. It’s hope.
When she catches Becca glancing in her direction, a realisation dawns on her that whatever happens, she will be okay because she is finally taking the reins to her own life, perhaps for the first time.
23
MCFLURRY TO THE RESCUE
Laura
For the following hour, Laura allows herself to fully embrace the experience. Karl makes the practice relaxed and she’s surprised to realise just how often everyone laughs. She knew the approach of Just Sing! was to have fun but Karl seems to take it a step further, leading them all with the enthusiasm of a TV quiz show presenter.
He is flamboyantly wonderful and enigmatic and utterly captivating. The kind of person you meet and immediately think that you want to be friends with them. Why we can’t as adults simply behave like a primary school child and ask someone if they want to be friends is one thing Laura can’t really understand. Getting older is supposed to be about having more freedom, and having the ability to express yourself in all your glory. And yet it isn’t really like that at all. Laura has felt herself mould to suit the people and circumstances around her – but maybe, she thinks, maybe now she is finally going to get to know herself and what she really enjoys.
‘So, what do you think?’ Karl asks her as she gathers her belongings to her and packs her lyrics sheet into her bag.
‘Yeah, I enjoyed it,’ she says, feeling a little flustered.
‘More than you thought you would?’ he asks, and smiles.
‘Well, yes, if I’m being honest. I’ve not done anything like this before. It’s a wee bit outside of my comfort zone.’ Her face flushes with embarrassment.
‘We get that a lot,’ he says as he takes a seat beside her. ‘A lot of people don’t think it’s very cool – this getting together with other people and singing. It’s not exactly edgy. But to be honest I’ve never really been overly bothered about being edgy or cool. I just want to enjoy myself.’
‘I hear you,’ she says. ‘And I really did enjoy myself tonight.’
‘Well, in that case, hopefully we’ll see you again next week? We’ll be giving Whitney another go and we really could use more altos. You’d be a valuable addition to our little family.’
His words make her feel warm and fuzzy inside and she can’t help but smile. ‘Well, I wouldn’t want to let the alto side down so I might just have to come back next week.’
‘That’s the spirit!’ he says before excusing himself to go and speak to some of the other newcomers.
‘Teacher’s pet!’ Deirdre teases as soon as Karl is out of earshot.
‘Don’t be daft! I bet he says that to everyone!’ She’s not sure why she feels the need to explain away Karl’s kind words, or tell her friend she doesn’t think he’s genuine, but she does. It might just be that she doesn’t want to make out she is big-headed or full of herself. She doesn’t want to appear boastful in any way, as if she thinks she might be better than anyone else.
