Is it not obvious I’m still freaking out about it?
Niamh
The statement ‘I’m going to die alone and Daniel will feast off my rotting corpse’ did indicate that, I suppose. But you know that’s a nonsense, don’t you?
Becks
You think so? Really think so?
Niamh
Of course I do. Daniel will be dead a long time before you. Isn’t he, like, 107 or something already?
Becks
You’re a cold bitch, Niamh Cassidy. He is just a baby and will live forever because I have declared it so.
Niamh
You know I’m only kidding and have a soft spot for the big floof.
Becks
And you don’t think I’ll die alone?
Niamh
Of course not! Conal loves you. He’d be mad not to. Isn’t that right, Laura?
Becks
I don’t think Laura is online. Probably getting an early one after her big day. At least I hope that’s what it is and she isn’t just avoiding the conversation because she knows something we don’t and she doesn’t want to break Conal’s confidence.
Niamh
She’s online for sure. All the wee blue arrows are lighting up. It means she’s reading this. @Laura! Come out, come out wherever you are! You can tell us all about your day at school!
Becks
And reassure me a little?
Three dots indicating that Laura is typing stay on the screen, occasionally blinking away, for most of the next three minutes. I watch them as if waiting for the secrets of the universe to be revealed to me. Laura and Conal are close. Not in a creepy co-dependant kind of a way, but as adult siblings go they get along very well. There is something in the shared trauma of nursing a parent through a protracted cancer battle that will form the deepest of bonds. There can be no secrets, nor any airs and graces, when you are spending consecutive nights being lectured on how to be good to each other by your dying mother.
When Conal and I started seeing each other, Laura did makea point of saying she wasn’t going to get involved in the ins and outs of our relationship. She had no desire to hear whether or not her brother is a generous lover, or act as a go-between. But that was ten months ago, and surely she must see how serious things between us are now.
Surely she must have an idea of what his intentions are – and the longer she types, the longer my mind is jumping to all sorts of not-happy conclusions. She is outlining the many ways in which I have failed her brother, perhaps. Although I cannot think of any – except perhaps that I am not mad about football, and have two Liverpool supporters as sons, when he is football mad and would die for Man United.
It’s hardly cause to be dumped over though. Is it?
While I watch the screen, I do the only thing I can think of to do for a second time and tap out a message in a private conversation with Niamh.
Becks
Is she writing the Magna Carta or something?
Niamh
I’m not sure how long the Magna Carta actually is. Or really what it actually is. I didn’t pay attention in history.
