‘I know, Mum,’ Adam says. ‘I’m just scared.’
‘You’rescared?’ Jodie laughs as she breathes through another contraction. ‘You’ve got the easy job. Stay up at the business end, hold my hand and allow me to call you bad names and you’ll be fine.’ She winces as the pain peaks and Adam looks to his mother for some sort of reassurance.
‘She’s right, pet,’ Becca says. ‘Just be there for Jodie, and when it’s all done with, bring her flowers, chocolates and whatever she wants. And for the love of God, when the midwife brings her tea and toast afterwards, don’t be like your dad was and try to steal a slice.’
‘You never told me that!’ Niamh says, although when she thinks about it she probably shouldn’t be surprised that Simon Cooke would prioritise his own desire for toast over the needs of the woman who just birthed his babies.
‘Oh, yes. Then he asked the midwife if she could pop another couple of slices in the toaster. You can imagine the response he got,’ Becca says, but she’s laughing.
‘Dad already warned me not to do that,’ Adam says. ‘He said under no circumstances was I to even attempt it.’
Wow, Niamh thinks. Simon gets it right for a change.
‘Do you want to call him to let him know what’s happening?’ Becca asks, and Niamh thinks for a moment how lucky she is to have Paul under the same roof as her, by her side. Not that Becca would want Simon by her side. Oh, no. She is very happy indeed with Conal. It’s almost, but not quite, sickening. The pair aren’t long back from a long weekend in Rome and her friend is sun-kissed and glowing with happiness. Between Conal and her magazine work, Niamh isn’t sure she has ever seen her best friend this happy.
‘I already messaged him,’ Adam says. ‘He said to let him know as soon as there is news.’
Niamh is watching this exchange while continuing to rub Jodie’s back, only for her daughter to let out a little yelp.
‘Shit, what is it? Did I hurt you?’ she asks as Jodie springs up to standing.
Daniel immediately darts to her side and Niamh doesn’t have time to fully process how lovely it is that Daniel is so intuitive before she notices him lapping at the floor.
‘Oh, you dirty wee shite!’ Becca calls just as Niamh registers the darkening stains on Jodie’s joggers and the increasing puddle of fluid on the floor.
‘Mammy!’ Jodie squeaks. ‘I think my waters have just gone!’
‘Paul!’ Niamh shouts. ‘Let’s go!’
Within five minutes, and not before Ethan has made a badly timed joke about Jodie wetting herself, only to be handed a mop and told to clean it up before Daniel makes himself sick, two grannies, one grandad and two parents-to-be are all crammed into the one car on their way to hospital.
In the back of the car, Niamh sits on one side of her daughter while Adam is on the other. It’s amazing how quickly her daughter’s contractions have ramped up since her waters went. It’s also amazing, and not in a good way, how they are managing to hit every red light on their journey.
‘Mum! What if I have this baby in the car?’ Jodie asks.
‘You won’t. You’re a first-time mum. It will be ages yet,’ Niamh soothes, but she has also noticed that the contractions are now only two minutes apart and lasting longer and longer. She doesn’t want to scream at Paul to drive faster but she really bloody wants him to drive faster. She had fully expected to have to tell him to slow down, but instead he is driving like an eighty-five-year-old with glaucoma and a car that doesn’t go above third gear – and is more comfortable in second.
‘Paul,’ she says, trying to keep her voice calm. ‘Any chance we could just, you know, reach the speed limit?’
‘It’s a limit, not a target,’ he retorts. ‘And I have very precious cargo in this car. I want to make sure we all get there safely.’
Jodie lets out a wail as another contraction hits, and Paul swerves the car just a little.
‘Paul,’ Niamh repeats. ‘Do you hear that? That’s a woman in labour. We need to get there as quickly as possible.’ Niamh doesn’t want to alarm anyone, but that was only ninety seconds since the last contraction and Jodie is wriggling around in the seat as if she’s about to star in the creature-bursting-out-of-her-tummy scene fromAlien.
Adam is doing his very best to comfort his girlfriend and keep her calm. Becca is clearly rigid with tension.
‘We won’t be long,’ Paul says, not changing his speed at all. ‘Better to get there safe rather than sorry.’
How Niamh wishes she was driving instead. They’d already be there. Jodie would be on the ward and sucking on gas and air by now.
When Jodie unbuckles her seatbelt and starts to try and turn around so she can kneel on the car seat, Niamh starts to feel the panic build.
‘Jodie, love,’ Paul says. ‘You need to sit down and put your seatbelt on. Precious cargo.’
‘No offence, Dad,’ Jodie growls in a voice that sounds positively demonic, ‘but this precious cargo is about to force its way out of my vagina, so if you don’t mind I’ll do what I fecking well want.’
‘Okay! Okay!’ Paul says, finally picking up speed.
