“I’m sorry,”Isay again, the words tasting like ash in my mouth.Becauseit’s not enough—it will never be enough.
I pull my hand away from her as if the contact burns, pushing myself up from the bed beforeIcan change my mind.BeforeIcan give in and do exactly what she’s asking—whatIwant more than anything.
“I have to go,”Imutter, not looking at her now becauseIknow ifIdo,Iwon’t be able to leave.“It’snot safe ifIstay.”
Not safe for her—not safe for either of us.
I don’t wait for her to answer.IfIdo,I’llstay.AndifIstay,I’llbreak and do something we’ll both regret.
I cross the small attic in three long strides, grabbing my boots and shoving them on without bothering to lace them properly.Thewooden floor is cool beneath my feet, the air sharp against my skin asIwrench open the door.
For a moment,Ihesitate.Myhand tightens on the frame, my chest aching so badly it feels like something inside me is tearing apart.
“Go back.”MyDrake’svoice is quieter now, almost…pleading.“She’shurting.”
I know.Gods,Iknow.
I squeeze my eyes shut, then force them open again and step out into the narrow hallway, pulling the door closed behind me beforeIcan turn back.Thehouse is silent at this hour, the only sound the faint creak of settling wood and the distant whisper of wind outside.
I lean my head back against the wall, dragging in a long, shaky breath.
I hate this.Hatemyself.HatetheDrakeinside me that makes everything so much harder than it should be.
IfIwere normal—ifIwere just a man without a huge, hungry beast inside me, maybeIcould give her what she needs without fear.MaybeIwouldn’t have to walk away from the one thingI’veever wanted.
My hands curl into fists at my sides, andIpush off the wall and head for the stairs, needing air—space—distance beforeIdo somethingIcan’t take back.
BeforeIgo back to her.BeforeIlose myself completely and take her.
Because ifItouch her again…IknowIwon’t stop.
45
ELOWEN
I can’t believe he wouldn’t help me.
The thought loops through my mind over and over again asIlie curled on my side in the narrow attic bed, staring at the rough wooden wall only inches from my face.Myeyes burn and my throat aches from trying to hold in my sobs, but it’s no use.Thetears come anyway, slipping silently down my cheeks and soaking into the thin pillow beneath my head.
I try to be quiet…try not to make a sound.
But when he left—when he got up and walked out of the room likeIwas something dangerous instead of someone he cared about—it felt like something inside me cracked.
It’s not safe ifIstay.
His words echo in my head, over and over again.
Not safe.Forwho?Forme?Orfor him?
I have no answers—only more and more questions.Ipress my lips together, trying to stop another sob from escaping, but it breaks free anyway, small and broken in the stillness of the room.
What’s to stop him from going?Fromjust leaving me here and never coming back?
The thought makes me feel sick because the answer is even worse than the question.
There’s nothing to keep him from leaving me—nothing at all.TheroncanShiftwhenever he wants.Hecould turn into hisDrake, spread those massive wings, and fly away without a backward glance.Hedoesn’t need me.Henever did.
And maybe…maybe he finally realized that.Maybeshowing me that part of himself—hisDrake’sshaft—upset him in some way.Iknow things between us haven’t been the same since then—since the quest for the jewel.Maybehe’s realized now thatI’mnot what he wants—that he’s tired of me.
