I shake my head.
“I…Ididn’t take any of her wish flowers,”Isay at last, which is true, at least—though it doesn’t explain the truth of howImanaged to break the curse while keeping my eyes blue.
“Hmm…”SisterAgathastudies me sternly for a long moment.Atlast she says, “Something’soff about this, thoughIdon’t know what.I’llbe keeping a close eye on you, girl!Sobe careful what you do.”
Then she turns and sweeps out of the dorm, leaving me full of shame and guilt and fear.Iwas wanton too.JustbecauseIdidn’t get my eyes changed or get pregnant, doesn’t meanIwas a saint.
Every girl in my dorm got kicked out of the temple and onlyIremain…butIdon’t deserve to.Howlong canIkeep my guilty secret?
Forever,Itell myself.I’llnever tell a soul, andI’llnever do anything wanton again.Iwon’t even touch myself anymore.I’llstay away fromTheronand all men for the rest of my life.I’llbe pure and good for the rest of my life andI’llbeg theGoddessofNaturefor forgiveness.
I have no idea how soon my promises and good intentions are going to fail.
14
ELOWEN
Things feel strange in the days that follow.Ihear whispers in the village that my fellow acolytes have their half-breed babies.Noneof them are prepared to be mothers, but they’re stuck.Andas cruel asMirabellaand her friends were to me,Istill feel bad for them.
ButIhave problems of my own–Ihave a sneaking suspicion that the curse the witch laid on me hasn’t been completely broken.
I’m having needs again–urges thatIdidn’t have before.Mynipples ache.Ifeel swollen and needy between my legs andI’malways wet.ButwhenI’malone in my cot at night–since the rest of the dorm is mostly empty–andItry to touch myself,Ican’t reach the peak.
It’s frustrating and worrying.Ifear that my sexual need is starting to verge on desperation–like it did whenIhad to seek outTheron.
Speaking ofTheron,Ican’t stop thinking about him–even dreaming about him.Inmy dreams, he’s touching me again…sucking my nipples, stroking my pussy.Iwake up panting and overheated, my clit throbbing with need, butIcan’t do anything about it.
More and moreI’mafraid thatIdidn’t actually beat the curse at all–Ijust deferred it.
I think about seeking the bigDrakeShifterout again, butIdon’t dare.SisterAgathais always watching me now.Ifeel likeIcan barely breathe–Ican feel her beady eyes on me from morning until night.Theonly free timeIget is when it’s time to tend the temple garden–she dislikes the heat, and it keeps her indoors most of the time.
SoIspend more and more time out in the garden, just to get away from her.ButIdon’t dare to sneak away because she comes to check on me regularly, staring at me from the porch of the temple to be sureI’mactually working.There’sno time to go to town and come back again without being missed.
I feel trapped…andI’mbecoming desperate.Ihave to do something before the curse overtakes me again andIhave to go beg some random strange male to defile me.
The best thing to do,Idecide, is to try to undo all the damage that was done last night.Butthe only way to do that would be to go back in time.
Sounds impossible, right?Butactually,Iwas pretty sureI’dseen a spell that might do exactly that in theForbiddenGrimoirein the temple library.Ihad only caught a glimpse once whenIwas looking through it.
But it’s called “forbidden” for a reason–it contains some of the most powerful nature spells in the universe, so it’s usually guarded by an alarm spell.Theone timeIlooked at it,Iwas dusting, and the alarm spell had been lifted so thatIand several other acolytes could do a thorough cleaning of the library.
Even a glimpse was enough to let me know it might be the answer to my problems.IfI’dhad time to read it through–just once–Iwould have remembered it.AsIsaid before,Ihave an excellent memory for anything magical.
ButIhadn’t gotten to read it through.Ibarely got to read the title of the spell beforeIheard one of theSisterscoming andIhad to close the grimoire and pretendIwas only dusting its thick leather cover.
I have an idea of how to get to it, though.ThoughIstill have limited magic myself,I’velearned a silence spell.It’sa bubble of pure quiet that extends several feet outwards from the one who casts it.
I decideI’llwait until midnight when everyone else in the temple is asleep and sneak into the library.I’llcast my silence spell before opening theForbiddenGrimoire–that should muffle the sound of the alarm spell.ThenI’llfind the spell, commit it to memory, and cast it the next day whenI’min the garden.
As for what timeI’llgo back to,IdecideI’llgo back to the night of the raid on the witch’s house.Iwas too weak, allowingMirabellato bully me into going.I’mgoing to stand my ground this time.Imight even go tellSisterAgathato stop the other girls from going too, ifIcan’t convince them to stay.They’llhate me even more, of course, butI’llsave all of them from a fate of shame and despair.
AndI’llkeep myself from getting cursed.
It sounds like the perfect plan and so, that night,Isneak out of bed.
I wait until the dorm is quiet.Notjust the kind of quiet that comes when girls are pretending to sleep and whispering under their blankets, but true quiet—the deep kind that settles in after midnight when the candles have all guttered low and even the crickets outside seem to grow tired of singing.
The air in the dorm is warm and still, thick with the faint smell of lavender sachets and old linen and the honey soap we all use in the baths.Mostnights, even with so many of the cots empty now,Ifind the room oppressive.Tonightit’s even worse becauseIknowIcould get caught and how much troubleI’dget into.
