PIA
“Christmas,” I whisper into her hair. With my eyes closed like this and Cassie in my arms, I can pretend there isn’t a car waiting for me in the driveway outside. I can pretend we’re not hidden behind her front door, hugging for the last time in weeks.
“Christmas,” she repeats. Her arms are tight around my waist.
“I’ll make what your mum would make you: roast dinner with Yorkshire puddings and gravy and Brussels sprouts. And what were the other things?”
“Pigs in blankets,” she says.
“Yes, them. I’ll make it all for you.”
“I won’t need to rest then,” Cassie says with a soft laugh. “I can cook too.”
“But I like it,” I say, still unable to look at her. “I like cooking for you.”
“Pia,” she says, and my stomach drops when she pushes against my hold. I let her pull back. I let her see me. “Thank you for everything, this last week.”
“No, Cassie, don’t do that.” I shake my head and use that as an excuse not to look into her eyes. “I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to.”
“I know,” she says with a smile in her voice. “You never do anything you don’t want to do.”
I look at her then, and I see everything I have ever wanted and feared.
She sees me. She knows me.
And I have never been more terrified.
CHAPTER 36
CASSIE
“Iwill call when I can,” she says. We are still standing behind my door, holding each other tightly.
“I know.” I nod.
“I can’t wait to hear the songs you write,” Pia adds.
They’ll all be about you, I want to tell her, but that’s too much. I already feel like I’ve been blessed with so much more from Pia than I could have ever dreamed of. And right now, I need to not push my luck. I need this perfect goodbye.
“Will you write songs too?” I ask, and yes, selfishly, I want to know if she’ll write them about me.
“Maybe,” she says, but she squeezes me a little tighter, which gives me a very different answer.
“You should go,” I say, even though it makes my voice, and my heart, break.
“I know I should,” she says, but she doesn’t move an inch.
“Christmas,” I say again.
“Christmas,” she repeats.
CHAPTER 37
PIA
Two Weeks Later
“She sounds better than ever,” Jon says after I press pause on the cassette machine that was playing the demo tape Cassie sent me of her solo work.
