She’s staring at me now, and my face heats. I’d tackle a hundred difficult things for a woman if they looked at me the way I sometimes imagine Sadie does—like I’m God and Adonis rolled into one. And now I’m the one with ridiculous fantasies. I’m sure she doesn’t look at me like that at all, more like she’s horrified at the idea of being forced to do more cooking.
I give her another nudge. “Go and find us a couple of seats.”
She moves off to the window ledge, and I order her a cappuccino, because I’ve watched what she selects from the machine in the office, and a double-shot espresso for myself.
As I stand by the counter waiting for our drinks, her face is reflected in the glass windows at the front of the shop. She’s studying the street outside like it’s a riveting piece of theater. Sadie’s like a still lake: so much going on underneath the water. I lean back, stretching out my back. It’s good to be out. Whenever I’m near a computer, I start worrying about work and emails. My time has been so subsumed with deadlines, Des’s departure,and taking over his role that I haven’t stopped and breathed for months. I’ve worked through every weekend trying to keep up.
The server sets down two drinks and a paper bag on the counter and calls out, “James!” I grab everything and head over to where Sadie is sitting, chin in her hand, and place it all on the ledge in front of her, watching her face as she takes in the cups and the bag.
“Does it look sufficiently magical?” I whisper, dropping into the chair beside her and pullingThe Sands of Marsout of my pocket and placing it next to the coffees.
“Maybe. A cake with unusual powers might be interesting. VeryAlice in Wonderland.”
I grin at her and her eyes flutter away from mine. She nods at my book. “That’s what we do; we sit and read?”
I smile at her. “We could chat.”
She reaches for her coffee, taking a sip while I cut the banana loaf into four squares. For some reason, I thought sharing would be nice.
“Have you ever playedParks?” she says.
Well, that’s a segue and a half. “Parks?”
“It’s a logic game. You put trees into rows, columns, and colored shapes. Two trees per row, column, and shape.”
“Sounds interesting. You want to show me?”
She pulls her phone out of her pocket, and I close my hand over hers. Her skin is warm as her eyes dart to mine.
“Phones aren’t allowed in coffee shops,” I say quietly.
Her eyes flit around the people next to us, then she makes a face. “Oh, you,” she says, and I laugh.
“Perhaps we should look at it tonight. If I upload an app, I’ll see all the work notifications, and I was just thinking how perfect it was to be out doing something else.”
“It’s a date.” A flush climbs up her cheeks.
I’d love to take Sadie out somewhere nice, not just a coffee shop, but I can’t say that to her, can I? So all I say is “Good” as I focus out onto the street.
Her eyes lift, studying the side of my face.
“I haven’t relaxed on a weekend for a long time,” I barrel on. “The pastthree months, I’ve read two pages of my book in bed and fallen asleep. Perhaps that’s why Jane split up with me.”
Shit, I didn’t mean to say that last bit out loud.
“Is that what she said?”
“No.” I run a nail down a groove in the wooden ledge in front of us. “Apart from the brother comment, she didn’t really explain. I’m still mystified about the whole thing, if I’m being honest. She’s started seeing somebody else, so maybe he’s giving her something she didn’t get from me.”
That was far too revealing, James.
“Sounds like it’s something to do with her, then, rather than you.”
My eyebrows rise as I turn my head toward her. “Why do you say that?”
She shrugs. “I think it’s the most likely reason if she couldn’t explain. People are often happy to lay the blame at someone else’s door if they can … I don’t mean that in a bad way; it just makes them feel better.” The color in her face deepens, but I’m gaping at her. “Sorry, she might not be like that at all, of course,” Sadie stumbles on, “but I’ve found that, if people can’t clarify why something is the way it is, they’ve usually got their own agenda and they’re just keeping quiet about it.”
She swallows as she studies her hands in her lap, and I stare out of the window again. Is that true? I’ve blamed myself for things I didn’t do with Jane, stuff I should have foreseen. Did Jane have some agenda that I wasn’t aware of? I was transparent with her; I just assumed she was the same with me.Christ.I’m almost vibrating as the idea swarms my head.
