I’ve seen glimpses of a fun, quirky-sense-of-humor James Royce over the last few days, and that’s an entirely different person. In some twisted way, I like them both.
“I understand, Des. I promise, okay?”
He lets out a long breath. “It’s great he’s talking to you, Sadie,” he says. “Keep up the good work!” And then he hangs up on me.
How come every time I talk to Des, I end up promising him something I can’t deliver? And now goddamn Jake is texting me. I groan as I turn toward my bedroom. This calls for a hot chocolate and some Brandon Sanderson.
Chapter 15
Sadie
When I wake in the morning and pad through to the kitchen to make my breakfast, there’s no sign of James, and my heart thumps loudly as I stand and listen.No shower sounds.I peer down at my phone only to find a message winking at me:
My head is populated by marauding orcs.
Followed by:
Sorry about yesterday. Thanks for rescuing me. I appreciate it more than I can say. Had to head in to discuss some things with Cath.
I grin as my heart recedes from the red zone. But his next text pulls me up short:
I hope you don’t hate me.
What? Why would Ihate him?
Never.
I’m smiling as I head back to my bedroom and gather up my clothes. When I arrive at the office, I catch glimpses of James from a distance as he flits in and out of meetings, but I have no idea how he’s surviving given what must be a monumental hangover.
By the time 5 p.m. rolls around, a couple of messages from my mom have appeared asking how work is going and whether I’m okay, and it feels like I need to go home and explain. I text James before I leave:
Heading to Queens to see my mom.
You want me to come with you?
I’m good.
I shrink down in my seat as I study the pale girl in the train window. When I arrive at the station, I head down past the industrial buildings and York College, the playing fields and the cemetery, and turn toward Jamaica Houses. It’s getting dark now, and my neck prickles as I take in the empty streets. Gah, this walk never bothered me before. When did I start seeing shadows everywhere?When you moved to a smarter part of town, Sadie. Or maybe it was being ambushed by your crazy stepdad.
I ease through the door to the building, past the scuffed walls and the broken tiles, but in my head I’m on Des’s bigcouch looking at the sun streaming down onto redbrick buildings. I’ve taken my first big step out of here, or maybe my second. Whichever one it is, it feels miraculous. My mom’s clattering around in the kitchen when I let myself in through the front door and peer into the living room.No Jake.Fingers crossed she didn’t tell him I was coming here tonight. When she’s home, he’s often out. He takes her money,our money actually, and goes out and drinks. I never thought much about whether there was anything wrong with my pay going into a joint account. There were a lot of bills to pay and I liked contributing. I thought Jake was contributing, too; he made money on and off, but now he’s talking about debts ... I’m not sure what’s going on. He always drank alot, but it never seemed like he burned through what my mom and I earned. Does Mom know about whatever this debt is?
“Hey, Mom!” I call as I head down the corridor.
“Hey,” she says, turning around from the sink as I step into the kitchen, and I take in her lined face and faded nylon apron, the matted brown slippers that have come apart at the sides. I pull her small, round body into warm hug. “My girl,” she adds, patting my back. “How are things going? Working hard, yeah? You all right?”
She pulls back to examine me, eyes skimming over my face. Christ, I hope she doesn’t spot the bruising, though I don’t know why I’m hiding it.One thing at a time, Sadie. Jake touching my ass and moving out, then the bruise and the debt.
“I’m good. How’s Cleaneasy?”
“Oh, same old, same old.” She turns back to a pile of dishes in the sink.I’ll bet they’re Jake’s.I pick up a dish towel. “The general manager is still an asshole. They’re still paying me for shit.”
I take in her curly brown hair shining in the overhead lights and launch straight into it. “I wanted to talk to you about some stuff, Mom. I’ve been thinking for a while that I should move out.”
Her hands still in the water. “I thought you might be considering that,” she says as she turns around, pursing her lips like she disapproves.
“I’ll have to move out eventually, Mom. With my pay coming in, it’s probably only a matter of time before they pressure us to leave.”
She makes a face. “Jake said you two had had an argument.”
