“You don’t owe me anything.”
Her eyes meet mine but I can’t read her expression. Clearly, whatever is happening to her at home isn’t good. Maybe it’s way more important that she move out than I realized. I need to stop sticking my head in the sand and think about something other than my own problems for a change. Perhaps being on my own and drinking and brooding about Jane isn’t the smartest idea I’ve ever had.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come across as overly enthusiastic when Des suggested you could take his second bedroom. I’d actually be very happy to have you there. I’d appreciate the company.”
She snorts, and my eyes narrow on her. Sadie’s not quite the original pushover I thought she was.
“You don’t want me living there,” she says.
I examine the line where she’s misapplied her makeup along her jaw. Her skin is white underneath. Something protective burns through me. I’m a jerk for making her think she’s unwelcome. And now that asshole I met has hit her when she could have been safe in Des’s apartment with me.
“It’s nothing to do with you.” I stare out of the window at the sunlight beaming down between the skyscrapers. “Splitting up with Jane …” I clear my throat. “It’s been difficult. Hard to deal with. I’m not in the best frame of mind right now to be reasonable company, so I felt …”
“Yeah, I get it.”
“Please, Sadie. I want to help. The spare bedroom will be empty when Des and Alex go to Korea, and that’s a crime when you’re looking for a place.”
“I can’t afford to rent a room downtown, James. It’d be crazy expensive.”
“Des is more than happy so long as he covers his mortgage. I’m sure we can agree on a sum that works for all of us. Please.” How can I persuade her? Perhaps I can lean on her a little? “While we can both pretend you ran into a door, I’m sure that’s not what really happened. I don’t want to overstep, but I also don’t want to stand by and do nothing, either. I’m notthat person. And I don’t want to be worrying about whether there’s something going on for you outside work.”
Sadie’s eyes widen.Fuck.Engage your brain, James.
“Sorry, Sadie, I’m not saying this right. You’re not a problem. I’d just like to help, that’s all.” I give her what I hope is a winning smile.
She runs a finger down the grain in the table. “I don’t know, James. It could be awkward with the two of us sharing a place and working together. Let me think about it.”
She hasn’t denied that she’s going through some difficulties, has she? I shudder at the thought of her living with that man I met downstairs. God, I don’t have the charm that Des has in persuading people. Who needs the quiet, studious guy in charge? What were Des and Jo thinking when they asked me to run the team?
Des straightens from where he’s propped himself against a desk at the center of the office, and I scan over the sea of faces packed into the open-plan floor. It’s standing room only, all our workforce now squashed in for this meeting, and I make a mental note that even with expanding upstairs, we need to think about new offices.
“Okay, guys,” Des says, clapping his hands, and everyone goes quiet. “Just in case any of you hadn’t realized, I’m moving to South Korea for two years this weekend.”
A smattering of laughter ripples through the crowd. “Please remember it’s usually thirteen hours ahead. So calls at 9 a.m. are 10 p.m. my time. If you call me during the day, it will be the middle of the night for me. So don’t contact me before 6 p.m. U.S. time, or I will find a way to murder you.”
More laughter.
“I’m more than happy to take any concerns early in the morning or late at night, but your best option is to speak to Jo or James.” He studies his hands. “There is the technical aspect of all this, but then there’s the personal side, too. Cath is stepping up to be James’s number two, and Roy is taking over Cath’s project manager role. Technically, no one understandsmore than James about the phone’s internal workings and he’s solved many a problem for me. We wanted to hold this session today so anyone who wants to could raise any final concerns. So, please, fire away.”
He scans the crowd, eyebrows raised, and a guy at the back—Marcus, I think—pipes up, “We’re really light on the technical side, and we’re losing two heavyweights in the team: you and Jo, who’s off on maternity leave soon. James is the only one left. What’s the plan if something happens to him?”
“Have you met James Royce? What’s going to happen to him?” Des says.
More laughter ripples through the room, and Des glances at me over his shoulder. Something is hovering behind his easy smile, some tightness around his eyes.
I clear my throat and stand up. “Joking aside, first of all, I think it’s important to recognize that Des and Jo aren’t leaving the business. Their expertise is still here, feeding into everything we do. Secondly, this is a terrific opportunity for all of you.” I sweep my hand over them all. “We need more senior people, and we want to promote people who are enthusiastic and ambitious. A lot of technology stuff is about experience, and what you’re learning here is unparalleled, because we’re giving you tough shit to do …”
“Tell me about it,” a guy in the front row mumbles.
“… and the training to do it. I’m running hour-long seminars each evening, sharing my hardware knowledge and what I’ve come across working on the Samsung phone internals. I’d urge every one of you to come along. The more you learn, the more valuable you are, and I don’t just mean for us. This is a global market, and this is a great place to step up and start your career motoring.”
My eyes skim over the crowd. I’m taking on Des’s responsibilities now, but I’ll also be running this company when Jo goes off on maternity leave. A shiver runs down my spine. I’m never at my best dealing with people; I’m too introverted, too thoughtful. I’m a good foil for Des, patient and detail-oriented, but I’m much better left to the nerdy stuff around the hardware and solving complex technical problems. I’ve run a few team meetings over the last month, and talking about the schedule and everyone’s progress wasokay, but doing Des’s ra-ra-ra-motivate-everybody routine makes my skin break out in hives. It seems like such an essential part of the job.
When I sit back down, my eyes snag on Jo sitting off to one corner, and for the first time, I notice the grooves bracketing her mouth. She’s stressed, isn’t she? Probably like me and trying not to show it. Maybe she’s exhausted from carrying all that extra weight around. After the meeting finishes, she tilts her head at me as everyone files back to their desks, and I follow her into the glass meeting room. Sinking into a chair, she wiggles her very pregnant stomach backward.
“I swear never again,” she grumbles. “I don’t care if Janus wants another one, or what the sex of this kid is … once this one is out, I’m done.”
I make a face at her. I’d imagined a future with Jane and a little boy with dark curls just like mine. I swallow down a fistful of feelings as I sink into the seat opposite her.
