Sure thing, baby girl. Have fun! Aunt CeCe says hi!
I let out a long breath as the familiar hoot of a train reaches me from down the track.
At the hostel, the manager chats away to me as I fill in forms, even though it’s now past 10 p.m. It’s a typical house on a normal street that’s been converted, and the neighborhood is quiet, the streets are free from trash, and the houses emit a welcoming glow. My bunk is in a dorm for six women, but the only other occupant is a girl who’s visiting from Australia. She’s planning to see the sights and is thrilled to be in New York. The manager walks me through a clean kitchen and a tidy living room, and the tightness in my chest from earlier tonight starts to ease. I have a bed for the night, and I’m with some decent people.
This is a good option, great even. But the real problem is that I can’t stay here for very long because I don’t have the money. I could stretch to three or four nights, but that’s it. The thought of going back home … I’ve never liked Jake much, but now I don’t trust him at all. And talking to Mom about it … she’s going to flip. If I could bring the finding an apartment thing forward …somehow… Jake’s idea of asking for my paycheck upfront isn’t so off the wall, but it still makes me shrivel inside. Everyone at Williams Security has been welcoming and understanding, and they gave an awkward girl with no formal qualifications a job. Okay, so they don’t exactly know I’ve got no qualifications, but still.
The following morning, I jump on the HBLR and then change to the PATH train that takes me to World Trade Center. Walking across the tip of Manhattan, I weave through the narrow side streets as the sun glints through the buildings, gleaming skyscrapers towering above me. How did I end up here? The journey to Water Street has taken only an hour, about the same as my commute from Queens.
There are no messages from my mom or Jake: Is that good or bad? Jake’s gotta be pissed I disappeared, though … Perhaps hewashigh. Maybe he’sforgotten the whole thing:Forgotten touching my ass when I bent over. A shudder rolls through me. I’m damn sure he won’t forget the money.
When I slip into the office, all I can do is blink around at all the bowed heads as I head to my desk. Roy raises his head and then winks at me. He always stops by my desk to ask how I’m doing, no matter how awkward I am with him. Everything is so normal, I can hardly believe it.
My eyes tighten as I put my backpack on the floor, sink into my seat, and move my mouse. The code I was working on yesterday appears on my screen.I’m not asking them for money. No way could I jeopardize my job with this company. I love it here. I’m never leaving. I’ll be ninety and still writing software at this desk.
I almost jump when Des materializes like a genie beside me, blond hair gleaming. He’s so good-looking it makes my eyes hurt. He’s got a lovely boyfriend, Alex, who appeared in the office, visibly traumatized, a few weeks ago. Then Alex disappeared, and Des ran off after him. Everyone’s been gossiping about it ever since, ably helped by Des, who’s the biggest gossip of the lot. He keeps mentioning how lucky he is.
“Hey, chickadee! I thought we could have a catchup and go through your code. I know you talked to James, but I want to check on how you’re getting on. Just an informal chat?”
God, I do not want to do this today of all days. “Could we do it tomorrow?”
He cocks his head at me, and I chew my lip. I should give him an update. All my stuffisgoing well. I’m ahead, and it’d be smart to put that in front of him.
“It’s okay,” I say. “I can do it.”
His eyes narrow. “Are you sure it’s no problem? I’m trying to talk to everyone before I go to Korea.”
This is the other thing: He’s moving to the other side of the world to set up a new Williams Security office.
“Eleven a.m., then?” he says.
I nod. “Sounds good.”
When I sit down in the conference room, Des beams from across the table. It’s like something has settled inside him since he got together with Alex, like he’s found the best thing in the world, and perhaps he has. Even in the few months I’ve been here, I’ve realized that his life involves bailing out a bunch of fairly flaky friends, and that he gives more than he gets back. As I take in his friendly grin, my eyes tighten with no warning.Fuck, oh fuck.A tear plops onto my cheek.Sadie, what the hell?
Des’s smile fades as his eyes widen. He jumps up and zooms around the table, dragging a chair out next to me and taking hold of my hand as he sits. “Hey. Are you okay? What’s up?”
Oh God, this will put my job in jeopardy.Stop crying, you idiot.
“Crap, I’m useless when people cry. It makes me want to cry, too,” he adds, and sure enough, when I peer at him, his eyes are going red, and I laugh through my tears.
“I’m fine. I’m fine,” I say, swiping a hand across my cheek.
He tilts his head a fraction, eyes narrowed. “You don’t look fine to me, chickadee, but I understand if you don’t want to talk about it. I am the king of avoidance.” He waves his hand around, then a faint smirk curls over his mouth. “Make that the queen of avoidance.”
I hiccup into my hand. Des is a sweetheart. Even when you’re having a meltdown, apparently.
“We can totally chat about software stuff and pretend this never happened.” He gestures to our laptops on the conference room table. “But I’m very happy to help, and I’m here if you want to talk.”
“I have to move out of my mom’s apartment,” I gulp out.
A crease forms between his brows. “Okay. Any particular reason?”
I shake my head.
“Okay, we don’t want to talk about that. No problem.” He looks down, twisting a silver ring on his finger. “I get that. Families can be a nightmare. Are you having trouble finding a place?”
I can’t tell him I haven’t even looked.
