“Nothing. It was nothing.”
He makes a face now. “Don’t do that, Sadie. You’re always honest with me.”
Well, I am, apart from how much I love him; how much I have always loved him.
My eyes come back to his. I’m getting so good at looking at him now. “Iwas just thinking how I like to see you let loose, and then I realized that I wasn’t the only person who got to see that.” I make a face at him, which I hope is halfway between a grimace and an apology.
He laughs. “No, no. You see, youarethe only one who’s seen me like this. I’ve only ever been like this with you. You make me feel …” He trails off, eyes going tight for a second as his gaze flicks back and forth between my eyes. “You know, right?”
“Know what?”
His hips press forward, the shape of him sliding through where I’m wet, and I wrap my other leg around his hip, and he adjusts and buries himself inside me on a long groan. Then he props up on his hands, pressing in and pulling out once, something swimming behind his eyes.
The knight stares at his queen, hoping she understands what he cannot put into words.
He bends down and brushes his nose against mine. “You know that I love you,” he whispers.
My heart thumps like my body can no longer contain it, like it might explode out of my chest. “What?”
“I love you, Sadie. I have for a while. I just … I didn’t want to say it and for you to think you were a rebound or some temporary thing I was smitten with.”
I did think that.
Oh God.
I mean …
But he’s looking at me with an expression on his face I’ve never seen before, bright and wild and full of hope, and oh Christ! Is this real? Did I fall back to sleep and disappear into the best dream?
“Say something,” he whispers, uncertainty creeping into his face. “You must look at what happened with Jane and think I don’t know what I feel, but I promise you …”
God, I don’t want him to feelbadabout this. “You’re kidding, right? All you look like to me is the most loyal guy on the planet.”
He drops his head to my chest. “That’s one way of looking at it.” He kisses my shoulder, head rubbing side to side, then lifts his head again, eyes shining. “I really love you, Sadie.”
God, he loves me.
The earth falls away as trees flash past. Birds rise up, mountains, and I’m flying through the clouds, the world far beneath my feet. I suck in a huge gasp of air.
“I love you, too.” I just can’t hold it back. “Ever since I met you. I just … That’s why I could never look you in the eye.”
His lips part. “What?Thatwas why?”
I close my eyes. I’m going to die, right now. I shouldneverhave admitted that. He makes a strange, strangled noise, and my eyes pop open to see his face break into the wildest grin. It’s another expression I’ve never seen on him before; he’s never unrestrained—my calm, thoughtful knight.
“You’ve liked me all this time?”
I laugh brokenly. “Yes, James. Me and every other woman who crosses your path.”
He tsks at me. “I don’t want any other woman. I just want you.” He bites his bottom lip and flexes his hips, and the feeling of him pushing forward makes my eyes roll into the back of my head.
“Look at me,” he murmurs. “Look at me while we do this.” My eyes open as his fingers weave through mine, and he brings our linked hands up to where our chests are pressed together. “Just like the first time,” he whispers as he pulls out and pushes back in again. “You, looking at me.”
“James,” I croak.
He nudges his nose softly against mine. “Always so special. Every time we do this, it lights me up inside.”
OhGod. All my words lodge in my throat. He rubs over me, sending tingling down my legs.
