Last night unfolds in a series of images. Claire’s pussy open to me, wet, and wanting. The long lines of her thighs trembling as she comes.
Then I remember what I did, fucking her until I wassenseless, boneless, my cock deep inside her with no fucking protection. We only fucked once, but I blew my load so deep inside that woman that she could probably see my come behind her eyes.
A sour taste fills my mouth. What the fuck is wrong with me? I never take risks like that. Never. But Claire has me out of my mind and not acting remotely close to my normal self.
Protecting them from Mad Dog was easy. I saw a problem, I had the power and the means to step in, and bam—I provided a solution.
But I’m a fucking mess of a man. I run guns, drugs, and collect gambling debts from scumbags. Right now, I’m nursing the bruising of the year, thanks to some assholes who thought they were just smart enough to outsmart the Heat.
I’m the fucked-up kid who took his daddy’s fists and cried into his pillow. I lost my military benefits, my career, my dignity. I’ve got no mother, no family, and I am sure as fuck not ready to be any kind of father. I can’t—no, worse, I don’t want to do this.
It’s not about Claire and what I feel for her. If it were just Claire, it would be hard enough to justify holding a beautiful, caring woman back from her potential by keeping her for myself.
I’m a criminal, a failure, a wreck.
And just about every day of the week, I put myself in harm’s way. Anything can go down at any time, and it often does.
It’s so much easier with no attachments.
No one to count on me for more than a night.
No one to need more than I have to give.
I jump out of her bed, my heart hammering in my chest, and my palms become clammy. What if I got her pregnant?
What if?—
Fuck.
“Savage?” Claire’s soft voice breaks me from my spiraling thoughts. She’s cuddling Aurora to her chest, a soft smile on her face. Her eyes flick to my soft cock bobbing against my bare thighs. “Everything okay?” she asks.
But she can tell right away that everything isn’t okay.
She points to where my sweats are pooled on the floor. “Why don’t you put those on real quick, and I’ll change Aurora’s diaper. Okay?”
Her voice is soothing, but it’s as if I can’t move. I’m frozen, looking at her, the baby, and thinking thoughts that I never dreamed I’d think. What if I just made myself a daddy?
What if I?—
“Savage.” Claire’s voice is firm now. “Sweetheart, would you mind just bending down and grabbing those sweatpants off the floor?”
I shake my head to clear the fog a bit and give myself over to her voice.
“There we go.” She’s talking to Aurora now, but for a second, I thought she was talking to me.
She’s calm and composed but authoritative. Likethis is what I need to do, this is how it’s gonna be, and like the good soldier I once was, I know a commanding officer when I hear one.
I do as she says and step into my pants.
“All right now. Why don’t you sit down?”
I drop onto the bed.
She smiles and shakes her head. “Come to the couch, Savage. I’m gonna change Aurora and get her some breakfast.” Claire moves quickly and quietly, talking in a low voice to her baby.
I sit back against the couch cushions and let my head drop back. I close my eyes and let the memories take over.
I ain’t raising no savages!
