“I don’t know how to let my guard down. To trust you,” she admitted in a quiet voice. “To make room for you in my life. It took me so long to get here. And I’m scared.”
“Come sit down,” I patted the couch.
She sat, and I pulled her against me, slow and deliberate, giving her time to pull away if she needed. When she settledin, her body molding to mine, I stroked her hair, grounding us both.
“We don’t need all the answers today. All we need to know is that we want to do this.”
“But how could you want me?” she whispered. “I’m a single mom. Amess. And I’ve got shipping containers full of baggage.”
I tipped her chin up and kissed her forehead. “I want you because of those things, not in spite of them. And for the record, I own heavy machinery. I’m excellent with baggage.”
A laugh escaped her. A real one. With a hand on my cheek, she pressed her lips to mine. “Can you be patient with me?”
“I’ll never rush you. Never cage you. And I’ll never leave you.”
The most beautiful smile spread across her face, warming me like the first rays of the sun in the morning.
“And I’ll never stop choosing you,” she said. “My kids trust you.” She sniffled. “And so do I. We’re a team. You have been by my side, supporting me and helping me find my strength. And today, when I couldn’t do it alone, you were with me.”
“I’m always with you.”
“Good,” she said. “Because I’m not letting you go, Josh.”
We held each other in front of the fire, soaking up its warmth. And for the first time in a long time, I believed forever was possible. Not as a promise, but as a practice.
Chapter 44
Celine
One Month Later
The massive sectional was surrounded by wrapping paper. The tree Josh and the kids had cut down hit the ceiling of the living room and was crammed full of ornaments. Several of which were handmade by Maggie and were horse-shaped.
We hadn’t meant to move in here. In fact, I’d tried very hard to avoid it. The bullet that had gone through the ceiling of the cottage had punctured a hot water pipe, and while it hadn’t caused significant damage to the house, clean up and repairs had taken a few weeks.
So the kids and I had stayed here. Josh had a ton of space and went out of his way to make us feel welcome. The girls had their own rooms, and Julian got to hang with his best friend Wayne constantly. And pretty quickly, the five of us settled into an easy routine.
It was a temporary living situation. I often had to remind my kids of that. But they had other plans.
Julian took it upon himself to sneak back over to our cottage and bring his belongings over. He did it little by little, an armload or a box full each day. How I didn’t notice is beyond me. When he finished his clothes and toys, he started on my stuff. It started small. One day, thebest mommug Ellie had made for me in kindergarten appeared in a cabinet in Josh’s kitchen.
Not long after that, I came home from a meeting after school and found our framed family photos interspersed with Josh’s along the fireplace mantel. When I’d asked how they migrated over here, Julian and Maggie giggled and ran upstairs.
Josh took a photo of my mom and placed it right next to one of his mom. “I think they’d have been friends,” he said softly.
That moment was when my resolve—to move back to the cottage, to assert my independence, to get some distance from this man—crumbled into dust.
We hadn’t made anything official yet. We were just sort of muddling through. Sleeping at the farmhouse and wandering back over to the cottage when it suited.
The aftermath of the Phyllis incident was difficult. But Josh’s support made it more manageable. The kids had been interviewed by Nolan and advocates from the court system. I’d given my statements, and Phyllis had been formally charged.
Justice took time, but since the judge denied her bail due to the violent nature of her crimes, I slept easily.
After the incident, the town had really shown up for us, making sure we had food for months, volunteering to help out at the farm, and providing endless support.
“Mom,” Julian said, crawling into my lap with a big smile, his eyes darting to the absurd pile of gifts. “Santa went overboard this year.”
I shot Josh a look. He only shrugged. He looked extra delicious in the reindeer printed pajamas that Maggie had picked out for all of us. I worried that it was too much to ask, but he’d been honored to wear them. We’d already taken several goofy family photos, all five of us in our matching jammies.
