Chapter 31
Celine
“Oh my goodness, I’m so thrilled you’re here!” Suzie pulled me into a warm hug. “And thank you for coming,” she said to my kids as she released me. “The boys are out back getting into trouble.”
Ellie and Maggie greeted her, then wandered toward the back door. Julian, on the other hand, stayed tucked into my side. We’d been in Josh’s house several times, but never when it was filled with noise and people and delicious smells like it was today. Josh had insisted we come over, saying his family “forced” him into Sunday dinners a couple times a month, but I was already having second thoughts.
The kitchen, which seemed so vast the first time I saw it, was crowded. Mel gave me a wave as she slid a pan into the oven. Gabe was standing in the corner in a suit, his head down, texting furiously.
“Hi.” Josh shuffled up to me with a dishtowel slung over his shoulder. He was dressed in a blue polo shirt, a style I’d never seen on him, and he looked particularly delicious.
“Did you dress up for me?” I asked, tugging on his collar.
He smirked. “My mom trained me well. Julian,” he said, focusing on my son. “Do you want some apple cider?”
The two of them took off toward the fridge, leaving me on my own to marvel at the chopping, talking, and cooking that was going on all around me.
The house smelled of roast chicken and fresh bread, and the windows were cracked, letting in the chilly fall air.
Mel held up a wine bottle from across the island and raised her eyebrows at me.
I shook my head. “No thanks.”
“I brought a deck of cards,” Ed said, grinning at Julian. “Care to challenge me in go fish?”
“Can we play here so I can see my mom?” Julian asked.
“Sure thing, kiddo.” With an easy nod, Ed dealt the cards, using one corner of the crowded island.
I’d never witnessed a family gathering like this. One where no one was performing and no one was being tested. And for the first time, I understood why people did this willingly.
The farmhouse table was large, and Josh and Gabe had added a leaf, but elbows still bumped as plates were passed a round.
I sat between Maggie and Julian, who had begged Josh to sit on his other side. Ellie sat across from us, talking to Mel about baking.
Typically, loud, crowded situations like this put me on edge, yet with them, I didn’t feel like I needed to brace myself.
I hunched over, bringing my mouth close to Julian’s ear. “Do you need your headphones?”
He shook his head, digging into his artfully arranged plate of cucumber slices, strawberries, his preferred brand of crackers, and four cubes of orange cheddar cheese. Foods he’d eat without negotiation or overwhelm.
“Josh remembered,” he said, shoving a cucumber into his mouth.
“I can see that.” My heart expanded as I noted how content he was.
But then my mind quickly betrayed me, dragging me back to Phyllis’s house without my permission.
Thanksgiving with Donny’s family had been painful. The long table, the china, the scrutiny and expectation that Julian would behave, which in her mind meant that he’d sit still and eat whatever he was served. That he wouldn’t fidget. That he wouldn’t be himself. The way she’d snapped at me for daring to bring along food for him.
She’d cackled, insisting that he’d eat when he was “hungry enough.” As if starving a neurodiverse child was somehow a crack parenting strategy.
Julian leaned closer to Josh, holding up a ripe strawberry. “These are my favorite.”
With a simple nod, Josh said, “I know.”
He didn’t say “I remembered” or “I guessed.” No. Heknew.
Warmth and affection rushed through me as I watched the two of them.
