He held his hand up, making a pinching movement as he reached for the bottle.
I shook my head and put it down on the far side of me. “Nope, you’ve had enough. Come here.”
In a practiced move, Jas leant his head on my thigh, and I buried my fingers in his hair, raking my fingers over his scalp. I wasn’t sure when this started, but it was how we ended every night. He turned up for dinner, whether I’d invited him or not, then afterwards, he sat on the floor, and I played with his hair while we watched a movie.
He let out a contented hum as we both focused on the way the boat danced on the waves and the storm raged relentlessly. The darkness was nice, offering a new level of intimacy to our movements.
“This really is the most perfect place on Earth,” Jasper announced quietly.
“It’s pretty amazing.”
“Thank you,” he said.
“For?” I was curious.
“I wouldn’t have wanted to do this... the last few years without you.”
I knew it was the alcohol talking, however, I couldn’t help but revel in the sentiment.
“You’re welcome. It wouldn’t have been the same without you either.”
He shifted his position, making the towel slip and expose my thigh. My cock twitched as his breath danced across my flesh. I held in the groan, not wanting to make this weird. I didn’t think he had a clue what he was doing to me, but his proximity, knowing he was almost naked, the ticking time bomb that loudly counted down how long he had left here, none of these things were helping the arousal coursing through my body. Instead, I tightened my grip in his hair, tugging his head back.
“So, why are you leaving, Jas? The real reason. No more bullshit. I can’t take it.” My tone lacked the lightness it usually carried.
I released my hold on him, and I brushed the loose strands of his damp hair back from his face, using every shred of willpower I had to stop myself from leaning down and kissing him.
He closed his eyes. “I’m depressed.” My jaw went slack as I stared down at him, not expecting that answer in the slightest.
“I’m lonely and I have depression. That’s why I’m going home. I thought being somewhere familiar, with people who knew me better than anyone, would help. The new job—even though it’s not ideal—it gave me a way to go home without having to explain to my family what’s wrong.”
“You couldn’t just tell them?” I replied quietly, not sure if I should be asking questions or if he just wanted to get it off his chest.
“I can’t explain it. I’ve been speaking to a counsellor for three years, and I still can’t get to the bottom of it.”
I let my fingers trace down his neck and across his collarbone, not sure what I was doing, but unable to stop myself. Jasper didn’t stop me or open his eyes. Instead, he tilted his head, extending his throat, giving me more to touch. “It can just be a chemical imbalance.”
He licked his lips. “I know. And I tried the tablets, but nothing worked. And, well, it just feels like there is something wrong with me, but I can’t work out what.”
“Hey, look at me.” He sat up. “There is nothing wrong with you.”
He shrugged and placed his head back on my thigh. We sat in silence for a while as I continued to play with Jasper’s hair, giving him space to keep talking if he wanted to.
“Do you know I met Astrid Strickland once?”
“The rock star?” I had no idea where this was going.
“The one and only. Except she told me her name was Halle Whitaker. I had no clue who she was, but we were staying in the same hotel and had a ball for two weeks. She was so much fun.”
“Right.” I let the word out slowly.
“She came on to me. I thought I was interested. I mean, she’s a beautiful woman.” He let out the saddest sigh. “I told her I loved her after two weeks.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, and then she ran in the middle of the night. So desperate to get away from me, she ran. A few months later, I followed her to London. She was playing this big gig, and I tried to get to see her, but her bodyguard wouldn’t let me anywhere near.” He picked at his fingernail. “I told myself that I chased her because I couldn’t stop thinking about her, but that wasn’t true.”
“No?”
