He huffed out a soft laugh. “Yeah, I’ve never had that. I mean, I crave it... someone to take care of me, to not mind when I get clingy and needy and desperate for attention.” He pursed his lips like his admission should put me off or make me think less of him, but it didn’t. In fact, I loved his honesty. I envied it because I couldn’t even connect with my emotions most of the time, let alone explain them to other people. I liked that he knew what he needed, but I hated that he wasn’t getting it from the people he invited into his life. He continued, “I think it’s like unicorns... a beautiful dream, but you’re never going to find one.”
I might be lacking in emotional awareness, but sea creatures I knew. “Like a narwhal?”
“A what-whal?” he asked.
“That’s the unicorn of the sea... and they’re real. Maybe the right person is out there waiting for you, Finn. Maybe the problem is that you’ve been looking in all the wrong places.”
TWELVE
JASPER
Me: Did you get home ok?
Finn: You dropped me at the door, Professor, so you know I did. Thank you for last night. I had a lovely evening.
Me: ‘Lovely’ - a word I love being called.
Finn: What would you prefer I say? I’m glad everyone thought I was your boyfriend because you’re hot as hell, and the world would be jealous?
Me: What? No. I didn’t mean... It’s just lovely is what you call your Kaftan-wearing aunt, who forces you to kiss her at Christmas.
Finn: *laughing face emoji*
Finn: I didn’t mean to offend you! Last night was very pleasurable.
Finn: *blushing face emoji*
Finn: That sounded weirder than I imagined. Let me try again.
Finn: The evening was quite delightful.
Finn: It was most agreeable.
Me: Now you sound like you’re in an episode of Bridgerton!
Finn: What??? Do you watch Bridgerton? Antony Bridgerton #swoon
I stared at my phone,unable to hide the smile or the warm feeling that crept through me at this simple exchange. I’d always struggled with friendships, with being myself around people. I’d never understood why I was like that, despite the amount of time my therapist had spent unpicking my upbringing and teenage years, but things with Finn felt... easy.
Me: I preferred The Duke, and no matter how much I loved Polin, season 3 didn’t do it for me at all.
Finn: I’m agog. Shocked. Shooketh, Professor. I thought I had you pegged, but maybe I was wrong. Although, I will never admit that, so delete this conversation immediately.
Me: Deleting as we speak.
My foot tapped as I sat in the driver’s seat of my car where I’d parked to visit my family for lunch. I’d not meant to text Finn, but he’d been playing on my mind all morning... who was I kidding? All night too. And now I was panicking that I’d overstepped by texting about something not work-related.
Me: Sorry if I’ve disturbed your weekend.
Finn: Don’t be.
Me: You’re not busy?
Finn: I am, but it’s nice to have someone check on me.
My cheeks heated.
Me: I probably shouldn’t contact you about non-work stuff. I’m sure you don’t want me annoying you on a weekend too.
