I looked up at my friend. He was handsome, fun to be around. He made me smile, took care of me... “Why can’t you be a woman?”
His eyes narrowed. “What?”
“You. You’d be a great wife.”
“Right.” He let the word out slowly.
I shuffled up to my knees, so I was head and shoulders above him. “I bet your hair is soft,” I whispered, running my fingers through Travis’ damp, wavy hair, pushing it back from his face. He touched my hair all the time while we watched movies. I wasn’t sure why I liked it so much or when it started, but I went back every day, expecting it. It was like our secret. We never talked about why he did it, but he did it anyway, and I let him. I wanted him to touch me.
His eyes closed, and he wrapped his hand around my wrist, holding it firmly as he turned his head slightly and pressed his lips against where my pulse beat.
“Jasper.” His voice cracked like he was in pain. “You’re drunk.”
I couldn’t look away from his lips as they moved or the way the shadows from outside danced over his high cheekbones. “Maybe. Drunk or not, I can tell you that you’re going to make some man really happy.”
He huffed out a breath, peeling my hand from his face. “Lie down, Professor. Close your eyes before you do something you regret.”
I dropped back onto my haunches, putting us level with each other, our faces so close I could have leant in and… “I could never regret anything with you, Trav.”
He placed his hand on my chest, right over my heart and tapped me condescendingly. “I’ll remind you of that tomorrow, while you’re throwing up over the side of the boat.”
“Pfftt.” I swiped my hand through the air, losing my balance, my palm coming down on Travis’ shoulder. His body felt hard to the touch, and a gasp slipped from my lips.God, maybe I was more drunk than I thought.
“Lay down, Jas. Before I pin you down and tickle you until you cry.” He poked me in the stomach, my abs tightening.
I frowned. “I hate tickling.”
“And I hate cleaning up vomit, so close your eyes.”
“Fine.” I huffed as I laid down, putting my head back on Travis’ thigh, my body feeling sluggish as I tried to get comfy. “But only because I’m tired and not because I’m drunk or because you’re bossing me about.”
“You love me bossing you about.” I could hear the teasing tone in his voice.
“I don’t understand it,” I told him honestly as my eyes became impossible to keep open.
“Don’t understand what, Jas?” He reached down and pulled the blanket over me.
“Any of it.”
“It’ll all make sense. I’m sure it will.” His fingers found my hair again, and he stroked my head until sleep invited me in and I went willingly.
* * *
I woke,not knowing what was screaming louder: my head or my full bladder. I pressed my fingers to my temple as I sat up, hoping the pressure would hold my brain in place, as I was sure it must have come loose and was bouncing around in there.
My body was stiff from being curled up on the old sofa, but I felt so guilty when I twisted to find a sleeping Travis sitting up, his head tilted to the side. He couldn’t be comfortable.
Getting up slowly, I crept to the bathroom, letting out a long groan as I emptied my bladder. When I finished, I washed my hands before filling a glass with water from the tap and downing the entire thing, my dry mouth grateful for something other than rum to drink. As I stared at my exhausted-looking reflection in the mirror, memories of last night bounced into my head like someone was throwing rocks at me, each one causing me to wince. This was why I didn’t drink spirits.God, did I tell Trav he had soft hair? Did I tell him about Astrid and crying when I had sex?I dropped my head as I gripped the sink, shame burning through my chest.
“Idiot, Jas. You’re a bloody idiot,” I muttered to myself.
I gave myself a moment, trying to work out how I’d ever look my friend in the eye, and when I decided I couldn’t hide in here forever, I walked back into the office. A few steps in, I froze.
Trav had moved. He was now laid out flat, one arm tossed over his head. But my eyes were drawn lower to where his towel had worked itself loose.
I’d seen Travis in very little lots of times. I’d probably caught glimpses of his cock every now and then when we were changing after a dive, but this, this was different. He was just there, naked, exposed, allowing me to take in every inch of him.
It was normal to look, right?Just one man checking out another. A memory stirred in my mind, but it was as if it were behind a black curtain, and I couldn’t access it.Weird.I shook it off, turning my full attention back to Trav.
