Thepingsounded, and the doors opened. I let out a groan when I realised I’d pressed the wrong floor, leaning forward to correct my mistake.
My eyes landed on black boots and familiar beige firefighter trousers. Lifting my head, I found Jax staring at me like I was a ghost, but before I could say more than his name, his lips were on mine.
I wanted to push him off, remind him that he walked away from me with no explanation, tell him how angry and hurt I was, but I did none of those things. Instead, I melted into his kiss and let him devour me one last time.
Chapter 37
Helen
Eventually, despite how good Jax’s mouth felt on mine, my anger overcame my desire.
I pushed against his chest to put some space between us. “I’m sorry you had a shock, but we’re over.” I crossed my arms, hoping he didn’t notice my heaving chest or goosebump-covered skin as my body reacted to him.
“You made it clear how you felt about me when you pretended to come inside me and then moved out while I was sleeping.”
Jax staggered backward.
“It’s not what you think,” he mumbled, his jaw tense and his hand wrapping around the back of his neck.
“What I think is you’ve been messing with me for some reason and you had enough of putting up the pretense of liking me.”
His face crumbled. “I love you.”
I almost believed him, but I knew it was all a lie. “Bullshit.”
“Helen, give me a chance to tell you the truth.”
Tears pricked my eyes, but I was all cried out and the last few hours were starting to resemble an out-of-body experience.“There is nothing you could say that would make me forgive how you’ve made me feel, Jax. Nothing.”
He took another step back and let out an audible breath. “I had cancer, Helen. The reason I didn’t want you to touch me is because I had cancer and I hate what it did to me.”
My mouth fell open, but before I could reply the doors closed and the lift carried me away from him, my heart hammering and my head spinning.
I wandered aimlessly to the nearest bench, needing a moment to try and wipe away the memory of my boys’ faces when I walked into the family room they were waiting in.
They looked so afraid, but then, there were looks of elation, the sobbing apologies from Conner, Jasper offering not to move and Callum’s calm temperament replaced by pure excitement as he spun me around, squeezing me so tight I was sure he’d cracked a couple of ribs.
The events of the night rolled like angry waves in a storm, slamming me with a different emotion every time they hit. Jax, Thomas, my kids, what could have happened if I'd gone inside that club with my friends… I wasn’t sure what to process first. Closing my eyes, I tipped my head back just as I sensed someone sitting down next to me.
“Haven’t we taught you better, Helly? I could have been a psycho about to kidnap you.”
I huffed out a sigh, lifted my head, and opened one eye. “Two o’clock and nine o’clock.” I pointed to the two men I knew had followed me out here and were watching me closely. I opened my other eye to find Sean sitting there holding a takeaway cup.
“Coffee with a kick.”
“A kick?” I questioned, as I took it from him gratefully.
“When you’ve worked for Thomas as long as you and I have, you should always carry something to add a kick. Do you want to talk about it?”
“You mean the fact that Thomas Lanton didn’t die in a car crash and did, in fact, fake his own death so he could save Melissa and a load of people who’d been trafficked, including her half-brother she didn’t even know existed?” I took a sip of the drink, loving the rather large kick that followed.
“I should have listened to you, Helly. The fact you were on to him from the minute he ‘died’…” He did dramatic air quotes.
“No, that idiot should never have tried to fix this on his own. Look at the state of him. If he loses her, we’ll lose him… again.”
“I know. The Boss has got it bad. Pussy whipped into submission. Who’d have thought?”
I turned and smiled at Sean. “Yeah, maybe hold off with the jokes until they’re both healed and back home.”
